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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.3

TV technology has developed significantly since 21st century. People have different views whether famous TV programs should present more in educational way or just in entertainment way. Personally, I believe that many people watch television for relaxation and reduction of their stress level, hence, entertainment shows should be priority in TV programs. Nowadays, many people have already attached to the television, especially young generations. If the number of educational shows increases, it would be useful for youngs since it is easier way to obtain knowledge by watching their favourite shows. Furthermore, it would be practical to the development of the country. If educational programs are shown frequently in television, people of all ages can learn new something by watching such shows, resulting in reduction of less-educated people that may helpful to improving the country. However, majority of people try to watch television to reduce their stress level, therefore, amusement shows should be paramount in the list of TV shows. A number of people try to find a effective way to diminish their stress level, in this situation TV can be a useful way for them. If educational channels replace the entertainment shows that may load extra pressure for people who want to forget their problems by watching different kinds of shows on TV. Furthermore, many people's mood boost by watching different movies on TV and their life become more interesting due to such movies. However, if the number of educational shows soar which cannot share a high level of joy. The life of people turns progressively to the boring side. I hold opinion that the main purpose of TV should not be education, because other types of shows have crucial role in people's life. In conclusion, if the number of educational programs increase, people would be more knowledgeable by learning new educational information, however the main aim of TV is different from educational way.
TV technology has developed
significantly
since 21st century.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
views whether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
TV programs should present more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
way or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
in entertainment way.
Personally
, I believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for relaxation and reduction of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
,
hence
, entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
should be priority in TV programs.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have already attached to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
especially
young generations. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
increases, it would be useful for
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean “young”, the plural form of the noun ‘young’?
youngs
since it is
Please check whether an article is missing: “a easier”.
easier
way to obtain knowledge by watching their
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
.
Furthermore
, it would be practical to the development of the country. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
programs
are shown
frequently
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of all ages can learn new something by watching such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
, resulting in reduction of less-educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that may helpful to improving the country.
However
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
,
therefore
, amusement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
should be paramount in the list of TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
.

A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to find
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
effective way to diminish their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
, in this situation TV can be a useful way for them. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
channels replace the entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
that may load extra pressure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who want to forget their problems by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
on TV.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's mood boost by watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
movies on TV and their life become more interesting due to such movies.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
soar which cannot share a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of joy. The life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
turns
progressively
to the boring side. I hold opinion that the main purpose of TV should not be education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
other types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
have crucial role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life.

In conclusion
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
programs increase,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be more knowledgeable by learning new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
information,
however
the main aim of TV is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
way.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the main purpose of television should be education, while others say that it should be for entertainment only.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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