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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 5
Some would argue that the best method to become successful in life is to gain a university degree, while others say that getting a job immediately after secondary education is the right choice. Although working right after high school gains more experience, I believe that having a university degree places people ahead of other people. On the one hand, students who work immediately after high school have more experience in a particular field. This is to say that after completing secondary education, students who start working get more time to work, and they gain more experience in that particular industry. As a result, such people might even get a high salary in the future. For example, my elder brother started working right out of high school in 2011, and now he is highly paid. However, in this modern era, every job description mentions a particular degree which a student should gain to get a job, so I believe getting tertiary education is mandatory for getting employed. On the other hand, it is thought that university degree holders are ahead of other people who do not have any degree. In other words, people having tertiary education have both theoretical and practical skills which help them to excel after getting a job. Initially, they might be underpaid, but with such skills and knowledge, they will be paid highly during later stages of their career. For instance, in a recent survey conducted by the Employment Board of India, it was revealed that people who are having a university degree are paid highly. I believe such qualifications are necessary because even countries like Canada and America ask for a university degree for all immigrants who wish to work in these countries. In conclusion, although working immediately after high school gains more experience, I believe people having a university degree are ahead of others in terms of skills and expertise.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that the best method to become successful in life is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
, while others say that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
immediately after secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the right choice. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
right after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gains
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work immediately after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in a particular field. This is to say that after completing secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more time to work, and they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in that particular industry.
As a result
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
salary in the future.
For example
, my elder brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
right out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in 2011, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is
highly
paid.
However
, in this modern era, every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
description mentions a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
which a student should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
getting tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is mandatory for getting employed.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
holders are ahead of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
have both theoretical and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to excel after getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Initially
, they might be underpaid,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge, they will
be paid
highly
during later stages of their career.
For instance
, in a recent survey conducted by the Employment Board of India, it
was revealed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
are paid
highly
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
such qualifications are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even countries like Canada and America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
for all immigrants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
wish to work in these countries.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
immediately after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gains
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
degree
are ahead of others in terms of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and expertise.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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