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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v.4

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 4
Some people argue that television is helpful to educate people, while others say that it is useful solely for entertainment purpose. Although using television for entertainment helps to release stress, I believe that it is more useful for education as visual presentation makes learning efficient. On the one hand, television used for enjoyment purpose helps to reduce stress. That is to say, watching television helps people to put their mind at ease as they tend to forget all the pressure they faced throughout the day at work or at home. They unwind by watching their favourite Tv shows, daily soap or any news channel. To illustrate, a recent survey by the Times of India revealed that 35% of people prefer watching TV post office hours as it helps them to relax and revitalize themselves. However, I believe that watching TV only for entertainment purpose makes people addicted to various Tv shows and they hardly devote any time to their family members. On the other hand, using Tv for education is helpful as when people see visuals they can easily learn. In other words, human brain can better perceive things and respond to them when pictures are associated with the learning process. As a result, people can grasp knowledge and related things in a better way when they see moving pictures. For instance, recent research revealed that 65% of students can replicate science-based project when they see audio- visuals of those projects as it becomes extremely convenient for them to understand and reproduce the same work. I believe this school of thought is preferable to me because people can remember things for a long time and it becomes an interesting way to learn new things. In conclusion, although Tv used only for entertainment purpose helps people to be stress-free, using Tv for education is helpful as people can recollect visual presentation and learn things with ease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is helpful to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while others say that it is useful
solely
for entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
. Although using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, I believe that it is more useful for education as visual presentation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
learning efficient.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for enjoyment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
That is
to say, watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to put their mind at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
as they tend to forget all the pressure they faced throughout the day at work or at home. They unwind by watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, daily soap or any news channel. To illustrate, a recent survey by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
revealed that 35% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer watching TV post office hours as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to relax and revitalize themselves.
However
, I believe that watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to various
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
shows and
they hardly devote any time to their family members.

On the other hand
, using
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
for education is helpful as when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visuals
they can
easily
learn.
In other words
, human brain can better perceive things and respond to them when pictures
are associated
with the learning process.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can grasp knowledge and related things in a better way when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
moving pictures.
For instance
, recent research revealed that 65% of students can replicate science-based project when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
audio-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visuals
of those projects as it becomes
extremely
convenient for them to understand and reproduce the same work. I believe this school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
is preferable to me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can remember things for a long time and it becomes an interesting way to learn new things.

In conclusion
, although
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purpose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
-free, using
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tv
for education is helpful as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can recollect visual presentation and learn things
Did you mean "to"?
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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