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Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. v. 3
The relative importance between imprisonment and education is a frequent topic when people discuss how to deal with criminals. Although, to some extent, I agree with the opinion that criminals should be educated and trained rather than punished in prison. I wholeheartedly believe that prison sentences play a vital role in treating those who have committed a major crime. Undoubtedly, education and skills training provide moral uplift to individuals and help them to distinguish between right and wrong. A well-known example is that adolescents who committed a minor crime, it could be too strict to put them behind the bars. While education is a perfect alternative method, it may not only rehabilitate the youngsters but also teach them skills to satisfy employment prospects, which would reduce recidivism. In addition, the government budgets spent on jail will decrease if less criminals are in prison. The money can be used in other vital parts, such as public transport system and healthcare. However, only relying on education and skills training is not enough. Without proper severe punishments like imprisonment, many people would break the law. To illustrate, thieves might think they won't go to prison so they are not afraid to conduct crimes. Or terrorists might murder more innocents as they won't be jailed for their entire life. If this occurs, it will result in endless conflicts. Therefore, this is the reason that the majority of people claim that giving prison sentences is of immerse importance for reducing crimes. To recapitulation, I advocate that education and training is beneficial for those who conducted minor crimes, but imprisonment has to be kept to handle those who threat to our society.
The relative importance between imprisonment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a frequent topic when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
discuss how to deal with criminals. Although, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the opinion that criminals should
be educated
and trained
rather
than punished in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. I
wholeheartedly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences play a vital role in treating those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have committed a major crime.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
training provide moral uplift to individuals and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to distinguish between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
. A well-known example is that adolescents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed a minor crime, it could be too strict to put them behind the bars. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is a perfect alternative method, it may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rehabilitate the youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teach them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to satisfy employment prospects, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
recidivism.
In addition
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
budgets spent on jail will decrease if
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun criminals is countable.
less
criminals are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
. The money can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in other vital parts, such as public transport system and healthcare.

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relying on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
training is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. Without proper severe punishments like imprisonment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would break the law. To illustrate, thieves might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they won't go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are not afraid to conduct crimes. Or terrorists might murder more innocents as they won't
be jailed
for their entire life. If this occurs, it will result in endless conflicts.
Therefore
, this is the reason that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentences is of immerse importance for reducing crimes.

To recapitulation, I advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and training is beneficial for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
conducted minor crimes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
imprisonment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
to handle those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
threat to our society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that prison sentences should not be used to deal with criminals. Education and skills training should be used instead. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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