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Some people say that technologies such as mobile phone are disrupting social interaction

Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones is disrupting social interaction. v. 3
Technologies have been an inevitable part of this digital world. Some people believe technologies for instance, cell phone has a detrimental influence on social interaction. I partly agree with this statement even though it is true it do distract interaction. whereas it also enhance bond of long distance relationship. Firstly, It is undeniable that today's generation has come a long way interm of technologies. During conservation one clear example, the speaker and listener mindset can be simply distracted by unstoppable notification which can lead to withdrawals in the discussion. Furthermore, There are some addicts that check their phone from time to time otherwise, they suffer from anxiety or emotional breakdown. Owning to the fact, that the face to face conservation is much less efficient and less effective than it is expected of. On the other hand, I believe that technologies have gained a substantially significant number of opportunities to interact with others regardless of distance. It help enable people to chat with their loved ones in aboard, meeting new people from different culture and countries is made possible through mobile interaction. In conclusion, Even though, cell phones can cause disturbance during face to face conservation I have to argue that advanced technology has provides human new opportunities towards social interaction.
Technologies
have been an inevitable part of this digital world.
Some
people
believe
technologies
for instance
, cell phone has a detrimental influence on social interaction. I partly
agree
with this statement
even though
it is true it do distract interaction.
whereas
it
also
enhance
bond of long distance relationship.

Firstly
, It is undeniable that
today
's generation has
come
a long way
interm
of
technologies
. During conservation one
clear
example, the speaker and listener mindset can be
simply
distracted by unstoppable notification which can lead to withdrawals in the discussion.

Furthermore
, There are
some
addicts that
check
their phone from time to time
otherwise
, they suffer from anxiety or emotional breakdown. Owning to the fact, that the
face
to
face
conservation is much less efficient and less effective than it is
expected
of.

On the other hand
, I believe that
technologies
have gained a
substantially
significant number of opportunities to interact with others regardless of distance. It
help
enable
people
to chat with their
loved
ones in aboard, meeting new
people
from
different
culture and countries
is made
possible through mobile interaction.

In conclusion
,
Even though
, cell phones can cause disturbance during
face
to
face
conservation I
have to
argue that advanced
technology
has provides human new opportunities towards social interaction.
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Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people say that technologies such as mobile phone are disrupting social interaction

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
210 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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