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Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. Do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. v. 4
Technological advancements in gadgets like cell phone devices have disturbed the true form of interaction. I completely agree with the statement because the bond between family and friends seem to weaken due to the advent of cellular. An authentic way of communication takes place only then when a group of people sits together to exchange ideas and thoughts. Needless to say people are lacking the skill of empathy just because it is impossible to empathetic on the call, it is evident that a close connection can never be built in phone. For instance, a psychologically dejected and disturbed person will always seek a psychiatrist who could counsel him in person rather than looking for someone to take advice on the telephone. That is why these ubiquitous small machines cannot supersede humans. Moreover, the verbal ability of the preceding generation is on the verge of being hampered, as mobile phones are mostly used for texting. Furthermore, the youths nowadays are failing to forge a bond between parents and themselves. Reason being the inadvertent inclination towards these gadgets. For example, if a teenager is sitting in a living room with the family members, he would definitely be found engaged to his phone instead of initiating a friendly conversation with his loved ones. In a nutshell, it is advocated that the expansion in the use of phones is detrimental to the human kind, this grave problem must be tackled, and it is imperative to take immediate action to curb it for the betterment of the human life.
Technological advancements in gadgets like cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
devices have disturbed the true form of interaction. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the bond between family and friends seem to weaken due to the advent of cellular.

An authentic way of communication takes place
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then when a group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
sits together to exchange
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and thoughts. Needless to say
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are lacking the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
of empathy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is impossible to empathetic on the call, it is evident that a close connection can never
be built
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
.
For instance
, a
psychologically
dejected and disturbed person will always seek a psychiatrist who could counsel him in person
rather
than looking for someone to take advice on the telephone.
That is
why these ubiquitous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
machines cannot supersede humans.

Moreover
, the verbal ability of the preceding generation is on the verge of
being hampered
, as mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for texting.
Furthermore
, the youths nowadays are failing to forge a bond between parents and themselves. Reason being the inadvertent inclination towards these gadgets.
For example
, if a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
is sitting in a living room with the family members, he would definitely
be found
engaged to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
instead
of initiating a friendly conversation with his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

In a nutshell, it
is advocated
that the expansion in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is detrimental to the human kind, this grave problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be tackled
, and it is imperative to take immediate action to curb it for the betterment of the human life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that technologies such as mobile phones are disrupting social interaction. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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