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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.50

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 50
More and more people spend their holidays in locations which are challenging and adventurous. This essay will focus on both: the advantages and drawbacks for visitors due to such an approach. To begin with the positives, one of the significant benefits of such a difficult situation for visitors is that it confirms their courage. This is because those kinds of challenging situations teach how to face difficult situations, result in improved self-belief. For instance, many mountain climbers have agreed with this fact that after successfully completing the mountain, they are more positive towards life. In other hand, trekking through the desert, riding camels, laying on top of sand dunes and sleeping in tents were amazing experiences, that someone will never forget or get another chance to experience. These are one in a lifetime opportunity that most do not get to ever think about doing. Other benefits of visiting such a wild places is the economics. People can get a job and earn money. Also industry will become bigger and bigger. On the contrary, these exotic parts of the world can prove to be dangerous for the tourists. It tends to involve a high peril due to extreme weather conditions which could prove to be life-threatening. Likewise, the ecosystem at such places are very fragile, and tourism can lead to not only ecological imbalance, but also cause depletion of natural resources at those places. To illustrate, native animals and plants of the Himalayas were affected due to increasing tourism. To conclude, there are both positive and negative aspects of visiting challenging places. Though people can gain a lot of knowledge and experience, but they need to be careful and take proper precautions related to medications and carrying the basic necessities such as food and water, when planning a trip to exotic places.
More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
spend their holidays in locations which are challenging and adventurous. This essay will focus on both: the advantages and drawbacks for visitors due to such an approach.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with the positives, one of the significant benefits of such a difficult situation for visitors is that it confirms their courage. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
those kinds of challenging situations teach how to face difficult situations, result in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
self-belief.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mountain climbers have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
with this fact that after
successfully
completing the mountain, they are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
towards life.

In other hand, trekking through the desert, riding camels, laying on top of sand dunes and sleeping in tents were amazing experiences, that someone will never forget or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
another chance to experience. These are one in a lifetime opportunity that most do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about doing. Other benefits of visiting such a wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is the economics.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job and earn money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
industry will become bigger and bigger.
On the contrary
, these exotic parts of the world can prove to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the tourists. It tends to involve a high peril due to extreme weather conditions which could prove to be life-threatening.
Likewise
, the ecosystem at such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fragile, and tourism can lead to not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ecological imbalance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
cause depletion of natural resources at those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. To illustrate, native animals and plants of the Himalayas were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to increasing tourism.

To conclude
, there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of visiting challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Though
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
knowledge and experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they need to be careful and take proper precautions related to medications and carrying the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
such as food and water, when planning a trip to exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 50

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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