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Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. v. 1
It is considered by many that, reducing the excess packaging is being the responsibility of the manufacturers and supermarkets. However, it is argued by some that, if customers start to stop buying excessively packaged goods then supermarket automatically starts to sell simple products. I would agree that, it is the responsibility of the producers to sell their products by avoiding excess package. To begin with, excess packing is a market strategy to create false impression in the minds of customers regarding the product quality. So that, it is the responsibility of the manufactures and supermarkets to prove that their superior quality products can be wrapped in a simple way. For example, many branded biscuits packets are accommodated only fifty percentage of total package. Even if they avoid extra package, they need not fear to lose their market because they already established in the market. In addition, this excess packaging certainly escalate the landfill and which is one of the major contributions for the pollution. Therefore, both manufacturers and should pack in simple way to avoid the harm to the environment. On the other hand, it is believed by some people that one of the ideal ways to stop extra packaging is done by customers who can refuse such items. Once the product sales go down, the manufacture will change the selling strategy which is based on the feedback. However, this is not often possible. People could not refuse something essential for them such as rice or milk even if they are packed in a complicated way. Furthermore, people can not resist buying things with excessive packaging since they greatly influenced by advertisements. In conclusion, in my opinion, it is the responsibility of the producers and sellers to reduce the excess packaging to avoid possible side effects to the environment. Even though consumers can resist buying such items, it is not always done if we are really on demand.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that, reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
is being the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the manufacturers and supermarkets.
However
, it
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that, if customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
buying
excessively
packaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
then supermarket
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
to sell simple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the producers to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by avoiding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excess
package.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excess
packing is a market strategy to create false impression in the minds of customers regarding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
quality.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the manufactures and supermarkets to prove that their superior quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
can
be wrapped
Consider replacing "in a simple way" with the adverb for "simple"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a simple way
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
branded biscuits packets
are accommodated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
fifty percentage of total package. Even if they avoid extra package, they need not fear to lose their market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they already established in the market.
In addition
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
certainly
escalate the landfill and which is one of the major contributions for the pollution.
Therefore
, both manufacturers and should pack in simple way to avoid the harm to the environment.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that one of the ideal ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
is done
by customers who can refuse such items. Once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
sales go down, the manufacture will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the selling strategy which
is based
on the feedback.
However
, this is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
possible.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
could not refuse something essential for them such as rice or milk even if they
are packed
Consider replacing "in a complicated way" with the adverb for "complicated"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a complicated way
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can not resist buying things with excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
since they
greatly
influenced by advertisements.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, it is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
responsibility
of the producers and sellers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
to avoid possible side effects to the environment.
Even though
consumers can resist buying such items, it is not always done if we are
really
on demand.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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