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Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. v. 4
The controversial topic concerning complex product packaging never fails to attract public attention. There have been multiple debates on whether it is the manufacturer's responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging used, or the consumers are the ones accountable for avoiding excessively packed products. I am an advocate for manufacturers to limit the amount of packaging used on their merchants. It is reasonable for people to believe that how much packaging material to be used remains a critical decision by product makers since if no businesses are supplying products with excessive packaging to the market, customers would not have to avoid extravagantly packaged goods. For example, take Apple as an example, all Apple products' packaging adheres to a simple principle, boxes and their internal liners are all made from recyclable paper instead of plastic wraps and containers for each device and accessories. As a result, Apple is leading the industrial design for product packaging as well as influencing multiple industries for reducing packaging material. Also, consumers who make purchase decisions are the ones that should be educated to be pro-actively choosing the products with minimal packaging. Nevertheless, it should be mentioned that if marketplaces are supplied with products which are overly packaged, and customers are avoiding these products in supermarkets, this will lead to the manufacturers choose to avoid redundant packaging. That is to say, to reduce the level of packaging material, consumers although not as significant as supermarkets and manufacturers, would also be contributory to the issue. To summarise, a conclusion can be reached that supermarkets and manufacturers have a primary responsibility to lessen the amount of packaging used on the products they sell.
The controversial topic concerning complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
never fails to attract public attention. There have been multiple debates on whether it is the manufacturer's responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, or the consumers are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
accountable for avoiding
excessively
packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I am an advocate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
to limit the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on their merchants.

It is reasonable for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to believe that how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
material to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
remains a critical decision by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
makers since if no businesses are supplying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
to the market, customers would not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
avoid
extravagantly
packaged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
For example
, take Apple as an example, all Apple products'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
adheres to a simple principle, boxes and their internal liners are all made from recyclable paper
instead
of plastic wraps and containers for each device and accessories.
As a result
, Apple is leading the industrial design for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
as well
as influencing multiple industries for reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
material.

Also
, consumers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
decisions are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
that should
be educated
to be pro-
actively
choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
.
Nevertheless
, it should
be mentioned
that if marketplaces
are supplied
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are
overly
packaged, and customers are avoiding these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in supermarkets, this will lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
choose to avoid redundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
.
That is
to say, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
material, consumers although not as significant as supermarkets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
, would
also
be contributory to the issue.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, a conclusion can
be reached
that supermarkets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manufacturers
have a primary responsibility to lessen the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaging
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
they sell.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people say that supermarkets and manufactures have a responsibility to reduce the amount of packaging on the products they sell. Others say that it is the responsibility of consumers to avoid buying products which have a lot of packaging. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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