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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.2

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 2
The growing working class has resulted in a huge requirement of new homes to be constructed in the vicinity of the job, but since most of these areas are mega metropolitan areas there is hardly any room to accommodate new homes, so there is no other option but to expand into the countryside. Although many believe that the countryside should not be polluted by the expanding population, there is no other way to provide a new area where facilities and homes can be built upon. Some argue that our countryside is where we grow our food and cannot be used up for new homes. When an area is converted to colonies of homes, the resources like groundwater and rich soil that is required for farming are used up. With the growing human population, there is also a growth in food demand and this cannot be met when the agricultural areas are slowly being converted to colonies of the human population. Thanking the advancement of medicine, the ever-growing human population also needs more space to live. With the increase in the human population, most people want to live in areas that are close to their work and where the facilities are ample. If the countrysides are not developed to house these needs, the buildings will only have to grow vertically and such a situation cannot be environmentally viable, as this tends to take a lot more resources of the location. There is a need to find more land that will cater to all our needs. Until then the only way is to continue as we do now which is moving the population into the countryside and moving the countryside into forests and eventually moving the forest life into zoo parks.
The growing working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
has resulted in a huge requirement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
to
be constructed
in the vicinity of the job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
since most of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are mega metropolitan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
there is hardly any room to accommodate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no other option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to expand into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should not
be polluted
by the expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, there is no other way to provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
can
be built
upon.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is where we grow our food and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
. When an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
is converted
to colonies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, the resources like groundwater and rich soil that
is required
for farming are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
up. With the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, there is
also
a growth in food demand and this cannot
be met
when the agricultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are
slowly
being converted
to colonies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population.

Thanking the advancement of medicine, the ever-growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more space to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. With the increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
that are close to their work and where the facilities are ample. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countrysides
are not developed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
, the buildings will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
grow
vertically
and such a situation cannot be
environmentally
viable, as this tends to take a lot more resources of the location.

There is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to find more land that will cater to all our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
. Until then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way is to continue as we do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
which is moving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
and moving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
into forests and
eventually
moving the forest life into zoo parks.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
A foreign language is like a frail, delicate muscle. If you do not use it, it weakens.
Jhumpa Lahiri

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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