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Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is more important. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is more important. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important. v. 1
IT IS OFTEN SAID BY MANY THAT PACE SHOULD BE ALLOTED MORE OR THE CUREER WHERE AS THE REST OF THE FOLKS SAY, IT IS WORKTH SPENDING PACE WITH LOVED AND CLOSED ONES. AS PER MY VIEW, I BELIEVE ONE SHOULD KNOW THE TIME MANAGEMENT SO THAT TIME WOULD BE GIVEN EQUALY FOR BOTH THE THINGS AS BOTH ARE A SIGNIFICANTLY IMPORTANT IN INDIVIDUAL'S LIFE. FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING pace WITH FRIENDS AND tribe AND SECONDLY, WHY IT IS CRUCIAL TO GIVE SOME PERIOD FOR THE FUTURE CAREER BUILD UP. ON THE ONE HAND, THE PRIME BENEFITS OF SPENDING pace ON CAREER THINKING IS THAT IT WOULD STRENGTHEN THE ONE'S FUTURE PROFESIONALLY. THIS WOULD INCREASE THE NUMBER OF EDUCTED PEOPLE AND AUTOMATICALLY NATION'S ECONOMY WOULD BE STRONGER THAN EVER. BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE WOULD GET THE HGHER PAYING JOB. FOR EXAMPLE, AS PER THE YOUTH DEPARTMENT OF THE USA, 90% OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION ARE AT THEIR HIGHER POSITION AS THEY HAD A CAREER PLANNING SINCE CHILDHOOD. ON THE OTHER HAND, FAMILY IS THE ONE WHO SUPPORTS THE PERSON DURING THE UPS AND DOWN. THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE ONLY BY HAVING STORNG BOND BETWEEN TRIBE MEMBERS. HENCE, IF INDIVIDUAL SPENDS QUALITY PERIOD WITH THEIR CLOSED ONE, THAN ONLY IT BUILD THE ATTACHED RELATIONSHIP THAT WOULD BE NEEDED FOR THE HAPPY AND STRESS FREE LIFE. FOR INSTANCE, ACCORDING TO THE INDIAN CULTURE, 80% OF THE FAMILY EATS DINNER TIGETHER AND THUS, THEY SEEMS TO BE HAPPY EVEN IN THE WORST CONSEQUENCES. IN CONCLUSION, TIME IS INDEED ESSENTIAL TO E GIVEN FOR THE CAREE AND FAMILY AS WELL. PERHAPS, THIS POSSIBLE ONLY IF THE PERSON KNOWS THE PROPER MANAGEMENT AND HAS ORGAIZING SKILLS.
IT IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
OFTEN
SAID BY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
THAT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PACE
SHOULD BE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ALLOTED
MORE OR THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
CUREER
Did you mean "WHEREAS"?
WHERE AS
THE REST OF THE FOLKS SAY, IT IS
Possible spelling mistake found.
WORKTH
SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PACE
WITH
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LOVED
AND CLOSED ONES. AS PER MY VIEW, I BELIEVE ONE SHOULD KNOW THE TIME MANAGEMENT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
THAT TIME WOULD BE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
Possible spelling mistake found.
EQUALY
FOR BOTH THE THINGS AS BOTH ARE A
SIGNIFICANTLY
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
IMPORTANT
IN INDIVIDUAL'S LIFE.
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE IMPORTANCE OF SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
WITH FRIENDS AND tribe AND
SECONDLY
, WHY IT IS CRUCIAL TO GIVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
PERIOD FOR THE FUTURE CAREER BUILD UP.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE PRIME BENEFITS OF SPENDING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pace
ON CAREER THINKING IS THAT IT WOULD STRENGTHEN THE ONE'S FUTURE
Possible spelling mistake found.
PROFESIONALLY
. THIS WOULD INCREASE THE NUMBER OF
Possible spelling mistake found.
EDUCTED
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
AND
AUTOMATICALLY
NATION'S ECONOMY WOULD BE STRONGER THAN EVER.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
MOST OF THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
WOULD
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GET
THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
HGHER
PAYING JOB.
FOR EXAMPLE
, AS PER THE YOUTH DEPARTMENT OF THE USA, 90% OF THE YOUNGER GENERATION ARE AT THEIR HIGHER POSITION AS THEY HAD A CAREER PLANNING SINCE CHILDHOOD.

ON THE OTHER HAND
, FAMILY IS THE ONE WHO SUPPORTS THE PERSON DURING THE UPS AND DOWN. THIS WOULD BE POSSIBLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
BY HAVING
Possible spelling mistake found.
STORNG
BOND BETWEEN TRIBE MEMBERS.
HENCE
, IF INDIVIDUAL SPENDS QUALITY PERIOD WITH THEIR CLOSED ONE, THAN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
IT BUILD THE ATTACHED RELATIONSHIP THAT WOULD
BE NEEDED
FOR THE HAPPY AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STRESS
FREE LIFE.
FOR INSTANCE
, ACCORDING TO THE INDIAN CULTURE, 80% OF THE FAMILY EATS DINNER
Possible spelling mistake found.
TIGETHER
AND
THUS
, THEY
The pronoun 'THEY' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "seem"
SEEMS
TO BE HAPPY EVEN IN THE WORST CONSEQUENCES.

IN CONCLUSION
, TIME IS
INDEED
ESSENTIAL TO E
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
FOR THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
CAREE
AND FAMILY
AS WELL
. PERHAPS, THIS POSSIBLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
IF THE PERSON KNOWS THE PROPER MANAGEMENT AND HAS
Possible spelling mistake found.
ORGAIZING
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
SKILLS
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that spending time to develop a successful career is more important. Others say that spending time with friends and family is more important. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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