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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.10

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10
These days, peoples are doing free of services while school programs are conducted to confirm working for a charity. What is the most effective method for dealing without taking money for the organization of events? In this essay, I will agree to support my opinions with examples. First of all, a group of members is sharing the information to help in society. Two advantages of communication and confidence in how to move other behaviours to understand anywhere. For example, old age houses are many in my country that need help with a free cost. A big business company donates a tremendous cheque or cash to use for a charity. Besides, the Service is mainly provided in daily life because there is keeping of different program in secondary school. Secondly, community services are required for paid work to get compulsory with paying of different customers. Outside of cultural to pay some of the highly payable in various countries. For instance, improving the neighbourhood to younger children depends upon the situation of life. Youth want more money for enjoying life events, so they're available to go to the cinema-like entertainment. Increasing relatives teaching sports to the adolescent of a compulsory part of the education. Many students at the age of 18 years to work in juvenile that is very helpless in some areas. In a nutshell, although it is a common belief that secondary school programs are not paying services. I believe that self-respect and confidence for a charity. I think that youth children are up surging with neighbours
These days, peoples are doing free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
while school programs
are conducted
to confirm working for a charity. What is the most effective method for dealing without taking money for the organization of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
? In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to support my opinions with examples.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, a group of members is sharing the information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in society. Two advantages of communication and confidence in how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
other
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
to understand anywhere.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
in my country that need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with a free cost. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
donates a tremendous
Possible spelling mistake. 'cheque' is British English.
cheque
or cash to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
for a charity.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Service
is
mainly
provided in daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is keeping of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
program in secondary school.

Secondly
, community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
are required
for paid work to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
compulsory with paying of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
customers.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "Outside".
Outside of
cultural to pay
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
highly
payable in various countries.
For instance
, improving the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
to younger children depends upon the situation of life. Youth want more money for enjoying life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they're available to go to the cinema-like entertainment. Increasing relatives teaching sports to the adolescent of a compulsory part of the education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
students at the age of 18 years to work in juvenile
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpless in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.

In a nutshell, although it is a common belief that secondary school programs are not paying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. I believe that self-respect and confidence for a charity. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that youth children are up surging with
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
neighbours
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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