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Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible, rather than selling food that has been imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible, rather than selling food that has been imported from other countries. v. 1
Two centuries ago farmers locally produced food and sold it to the local market. However, the industry has gradually undergone a major transformation in recent years due to globalization and urbanization. This is the case because people no longer live in places where the food grows because globalization has led people to migrate to urban cities. The availability of various food items throughout the world has brought about numerous benefits to people around the world. However, some experts believe that shops should sell the food items which are produced locally and avoid selling the imported food items. I personally believe that sales of local food items should be preferred over the sales of food items from other countries. The primary reason for avoiding the sales of imported food items is that the food items from transnational corporations undermine the interests of local farmers and local food producers. Small farmers and producers can struggle because as transnational corporations gain more power through trade liberalization agreements, subsidies, and increased demand through investments abroad. They begin controlling many aspects of local food systems. Transnational corporations control the whole food chain, from the production, trade, and processing, to the marketing, retailing, and distribution of food. Additionally, much of this control is concentrated within a few big companies rather than millions of smallholders. Globalization affects this kind of market power in three ways. First, foreign companies become competitors with domestic producers by supplying food products to the domestic market. Second, this puts pressure on domestic producers, including small farmers, to lower their prices and increase their standards. Lastly, if domestic producers cannot lower their costs and increase standards without going bankrupt, they are forced to leave the market. This process allows transnational corporations to dominate domestic industries and put small producers out of business. In many cases, transnational corporations sell their food products at prices below the cost of production for farmers in developing countries, so it becomes increasingly difficult for domestic producers to compete. To conclude, sales of food products supplied by international competitors has a profound impact on the local economy. Overall, there needs to be greater dialogue on accountability and corporate social responsibility of transnational corporations; better support, protection, and resources for small farmers and producers in developing countries; increased funding in agriculture by the government; and an international policy framework that draws standards on competition and trade policy.
Two centuries ago
farmers
locally
produced
food
and sold it to the
local
market
.
However
, the industry has
gradually
undergone a major transformation in recent years due to globalization and urbanization. This is the case
because
people
no longer
live
in places where the
food
grows
because
globalization has led
people
to migrate to urban cities. The availability of various
food
items
throughout the world has brought about numerous benefits to
people
around the world.
However
,
some
experts believe that shops should sell the
food
items
which
are produced
locally
and avoid selling the imported
food
items
. I
personally
believe that
sales
of
local
food
items
should
be preferred
over the
sales
of
food
items
from other countries.

The primary reason for avoiding the
sales
of imported
food
items
is that the
food
items
from transnational
corporations
undermine the interests of
local
farmers
and
local
food
producers
.
Small
farmers
and
producers
can struggle
because
as transnational
corporations
gain more power through trade liberalization agreements, subsidies, and increased demand through investments abroad. They
begin
controlling
many
aspects of
local
food
systems. Transnational
corporations
control the whole
food
chain, from the production, trade, and processing, to the marketing, retailing, and distribution of
food
.
Additionally
, much of this control is
concentrated within
a few
big
companies
rather
than millions of smallholders.

Globalization affects this kind of
market
power in three ways.
First
, foreign
companies
become competitors with
domestic
producers
by supplying
food
products to the
domestic
market
. Second, this puts pressure on
domestic
producers
, including
small
farmers
, to lower their prices and increase their standards.
Lastly
, if
domestic
producers
cannot lower their costs and increase standards without going bankrupt, they
are forced
to
leave
the
market
. This process
allows
transnational
corporations
to dominate
domestic
industries and put
small
producers
out of business. In
many
cases, transnational
corporations
sell their
food
products at prices below the cost of production for
farmers
in
developing countries
,
so
it becomes
increasingly
difficult for
domestic
producers
to compete.

To conclude
,
sales
of
food
products supplied by international competitors has a profound impact on the
local
economy.
Overall
, there needs to be greater dialogue on accountability and corporate social responsibility of transnational
corporations
; better support, protection, and resources for
small
farmers
and
producers
in
developing countries
; increased funding in agriculture by the
government
; and an international policy framework that draws standards on competition and trade policy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that shops should sell food products from the local area whenever possible, rather than selling food that has been imported from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
397 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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