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Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. v. 1
In recent times, the eating preferences of people has been constantly changing. Globalization and international trade has made it possible to have access to meals from other countries. It is the belief of some people that food vendors ought to prioritize the sale of imported edibles over locally manufactured. In my opinion, due to the health and economic benefits, I completely disagree and think that they should sell locally produced food products when possible. To begin with, food stores should offer locally manufactured food items when possible because of they are healthier than imported food products. Local food items, because they are sourced from close by, are likely fresher. Also, most of items brought in from foreign countries are usually preserved with chemicals that are toxic to human health. To illustrate, my nephew who used to be a healthy lad, when he feed solely on breast milk and native meals recorded recurring case of yeast infection when his mother changed his diet to Gerber, a French made baby food. In addition, consumption of local products helps boost the economy. This is because large manufacturing companies tend to employ locals to work for them, and source their raw materials from farmers from the same region. This helps reduced unemployment as a result of the number of jobs that are created in the whole production process. For example, Nigeria was able to record a 2. 5% growth in GDP when the government started a campaign to encourage patronage of made-in-Nigeria food. In conclusion, while it might be impossible to depend completely on locally produced goods due to difference in climate which makes it impossible to grow certain food items, sale of indigenous food items should be encouraged where possible. This is will benefit the macro-economy and reduces risk of health issues related with exposure to toxic preservatives.
In recent times, the eating preferences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has been
constantly
changing. Globalization and international trade has made it possible to have access to meals from other countries. It is the belief of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
vendors ought to prioritize the sale of imported edibles over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
manufactured. In my opinion, due to the health and economic benefits, I completely disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products when possible.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores should offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
manufactured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
when possible
Probable usage error. Use "because they" instead.
because of they
are healthier than imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
products. Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are sourced
from close by, are likely fresher.
Also
, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
brought in from foreign countries are
usually
preserved with chemicals that are toxic to human health. To illustrate, my nephew who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be a healthy lad, when he feed
solely
on breast milk and native meals recorded recurring case of yeast infection when his mother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
his diet to Gerber, a French made baby food.

In addition
, consumption of local products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
boost the economy. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
large manufacturing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
tend to employ locals to work for them, and source their raw materials from farmers from the same region. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
unemployment
as a result
of the number of jobs that
are created
in the whole production process.
For example
, Nigeria was able to record a 2. 5% growth in GDP when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a campaign to encourage patronage of made-in-Nigeria food.

In conclusion
, while it might be impossible to depend completely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locally
produced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
due to difference in climate which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it impossible to grow certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, sale of indigenous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
should
be encouraged
where possible. This is will benefit the macro-economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of health issues related with exposure to toxic preservatives.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local area whenever possible rather than foods that are imported from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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