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Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local areas whenever possible rather than are imported from other countries. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local areas whenever possible rather than are imported from other countries. v. 1
Marketing international products rather than local products is controversial. Some people claim that the supermarkets must sell local food products whenever possible rather than imported foods. I completely agree with this statement, because local growers need to be supported and they can always be trusted. Firstly, by purchasing local foods, consumers appreciate the efforts of the native farmers or producers. In addition, the amount spent on these products will directly impact the financial status of the native growers. Indeed, at times their entire family is dependent on this money. Moreover, these local producers sell the products based on basic tax, which do not include international transportation taxes. For instance, strawberries are not grown in certain tropical countries, so it is quite expensive in such places, as they need to be imported. Overall, local food producers can flourish if their products are purchased instead of imported products. Secondly, locally grown foods can be blindly trusted because they can be verified by the consumers. Indeed, food products must be consumed cautiously as it can impact the overall health. Moreover, many international products assure to benefit the people in terms of nutrition. Nevertheless, it applies to the native people in their country. Therefore, it is difficult to trust these products in terms of quality and nutrition. For example, Nestle Maggi noodles were banned in some countries, as it was tested to contain excessive amounts of lead. In conclusion, by consuming local food products native farmers will get the financial benefit. Also, these locally grown foods can be trusted. However, international foods are expensive and may not benefit local people in terms of health.
Marketing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is controversial.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that the supermarkets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
whenever possible
rather
than imported
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
growers need to be
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
supported and
they can always
be trusted
.

Firstly
, by purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, consumers appreciate the efforts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
farmers or producers.
In addition
, the amount spent on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will
directly
impact the financial status of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
growers.
Indeed
, at times their entire family is dependent on this money.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
producers sell the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
based on basic tax, which do not include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
transportation taxes.
For instance
, strawberries are not grown in certain tropical countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is quite expensive in such places, as they need to
be imported
.
Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
producers can flourish if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
instead
of imported products.

Secondly
,
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can be
blindly
trusted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
be verified
by the consumers.
Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be consumed
cautiously
as it can impact the
overall
health.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
assure to benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of nutrition.
Nevertheless
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their country.
Therefore
, it is difficult to trust these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in terms of quality and nutrition.
For example
, Nestle
Possible spelling mistake found.
Maggi
noodles
were banned
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries, as it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
to contain excessive amounts of lead.

In conclusion
, by consuming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
native
farmers will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the financial benefit.
Also
, these
locally
grown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can
be trusted
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are expensive and may not benefit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of health.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people say that shops should sell food products that are made in the local areas whenever possible rather than are imported from other countries. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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