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Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. v.1

Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. v. 1
Now-a-day universe is getting digitalised. The computer is getting evolved in every area of life. That's why, many people believe that school's primary focus should be computers and use of technology. While educational institutes have limited budget. They should not waste it on the competency of teachers. Many people oppose this idea. I personally believe, that schools should invest on to gain more positive outcomes. On the One hand, computer literacy will be a necessary skill in daily life of the coming days. A person with a computer, have an unlimited variety of knowledge in his hand. In the current era, a plethora of computer applications is available to students, which provide a great mechanism for learning. A toddlers can find a mentor on the internet who will teach according to students' perception, while, in the classroom they do have limited choice. At the end students will learn more and able to be competent in the near future. On the other hand, the provision of knowledge and making able to perform well is not only the duty to educational institutes. A number of other responsibilities make the physical presence of a competent guide important. Firstly, brainstorming is an important skill to learn; which can be gained only by a creative social environment produced by a technically supervised personality. Secondly, many students require motivation to gain a leading role in upcoming life, which is only possible by a motivator. It is a fact that technology leading people into isolation. Therefore investment in having a good teacher is better idea. All in all, consumption of budget on technology is also beneficial, but investing in teachers produces a greater number of benefits. So the primary focus of education system should be the, preserving more budget for the capabilities of faculty.
Now
-a-day universe is getting
digitalised
. The computer is getting evolved in every area of life. That's why,
many
people
believe that school's primary focus should be computers and
use
of technology.
While
educational institutes have limited budget. They should not waste it on the competency of teachers.
Many
people
oppose this
idea
. I
personally
believe, that schools should invest on to gain more
positive
outcomes.

On the One hand, computer literacy will be a necessary
skill
in daily life of the coming days. A person with a computer, have an unlimited variety of knowledge in his hand. In the
current
era, a plethora of computer applications is available to students, which provide a great mechanism for learning.
A toddlers
can find a mentor on the internet who will teach according to students' perception, while, in the classroom they do have limited choice. At the
end
students will learn more and able to be competent in the near future.

On the other hand
, the provision of knowledge and making able to perform well is not
only
the duty to educational institutes. A number of other responsibilities
make
the physical presence of a competent guide
important
.
Firstly
, brainstorming is an
important
skill
to learn; which can
be gained
only
by a creative social environment produced by a
technically
supervised personality.
Secondly
,
many
students require motivation to gain a leading role in upcoming life, which is
only
possible by a motivator. It is a fact that technology leading
people
into isolation.
Therefore
investment in having a
good
teacher is better
idea
.

All in all, consumption of budget on technology is
also
beneficial,
but
investing in teachers produces a greater number of benefits.
So
the primary focus of education system should be
the,
preserving more budget for the capabilities of faculty.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people say that schools should spend more money on computers, others say that more money should be spent on teachers' wages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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