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Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subject. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subject. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or they find the most interest. v. 1
Although it is sometimes thought that older children should read only those school subjects which they find most interesting, others people consider that they should focus on all subjects. In my opinion, I think that reading all subjects in school will be beneficial for teenagers in the long run. On the one hand, some people think that children who will learn more subjects in school will always get the benefits of it in their future life and I agree. Having knowledge of diverse subject will help in a child's overall development. Additionally, there may be any subject which child may not like in school but can develop an interest over time. There have been noticeable cases in some schools where children used to perform poorly in some subjects, but when they entered into graduation they performed very well. Moreover, having knowledge of a few subjects such as math, which many students do not like, is necessary to do some daily calculations. On the other hand, it is often believed that it is better if a child focuses only on subjects which he is good at. Having only one subject to read will allow the student to devote more time to that particular subject and as a result, he will score better in that. Another reason why focusing on one skill is important that child will always be clear in his mind about his career options and will not waste time and efforts in exploring all available job prospects. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinion, I think that having knowledge of all subjects will put the students in good stead when they enter into adulthood and start their career.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that older children should read
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which they find most interesting, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that they should focus on all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that reading all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will be beneficial for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
in the long run.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that children who will learn more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the benefits of it in their future life and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
knowledge of diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in a child's
overall
development.
Additionally
, there may be any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which child may not like in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can develop an interest over time. There have been noticeable cases in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
where children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to perform
poorly
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when they entered into graduation they performed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
knowledge of a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as math, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students do not like, is necessary to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
daily calculations.

On the other hand
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that it is better if a child focuses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
to read will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the student to devote more time to that particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
and
as a result
, he will score better in that. Another reason why focusing on one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that child will always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
in his mind about his career options and will not waste time and efforts in exploring all available job prospects.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may vary in their opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
knowledge of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
will put the students in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
stead when they enter into adulthood and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their career.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people believe that teenagers should concentrate on all school subject. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or they find the most interest. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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