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Some people say that reading for pleasure helps develop imagination and better language skills than watching TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that reading for pleasure helps develop imagination and better language skills than watching TV. v. 2
Many people believe that watching television is not as effective as reading when it comes to enhancing language skills and imagination. In my opinion, both ways of collecting information are good for people’s cognitive development in their own terms. In case of watching programs on TV, people could get certain intellectual benefits. For linguistic ability, audiences enjoy the language of a talk show or a movie mostly by their ears; therefore their listening skill would be affected and improved the most. This could be exemplified by those whose learn English by watching English movies on a daily basis, with the fact that their listening skills could improve gradually thanks to having that habit. For imagining skill, watching TV helps build certain pictures about a creature like a God or a beast in details of shape, size and color, which many people have certainly experienced in watching a fantasy movie. However, reading is also beneficial to our thought in other ways. If watching TV helps boost our listening skill, then reading helps make our reading ability better. Not only that, we also have a chance to understand the grammatical features of the language more deeply as well as other cultural characteristics of the civilization which the language is from. For instance, Japanese learners at basic level have to learn how to use many polite phrases in many different daily situations, and can easily discover that politeness is a bold part of modern Japanese culture. Besides, reading does contribute to expanding our imagination in abstract ways, about not only the appearance but also inner characters of a certain object or person, since we are not affected by any specific pictures of it. In conclusion, I would argue that both watching TV and reading have positive influence on people’s cognitive ability from different perspectives, and we cannot make judgment about which one is certainly better that the other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that watching television is not as effective as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and imagination. In my opinion, both ways of collecting information are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
cognitive development in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
terms.

In case of watching programs on TV,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
certain intellectual benefits. For linguistic ability, audiences enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of a talk
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
or a movie
mostly
by their ears;
therefore
their listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the most. This could
be exemplified
by those whose learn English by watching English movies on a daily basis, with the fact that their listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
gradually
thanks to having that habit. For imagining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
build certain pictures about a creature like a God or a beast in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
of shape, size and color, which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
certainly
experienced in watching a fantasy movie.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is
also
beneficial to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in other ways. If watching TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
boost our listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
ability better. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, we
also
have a chance to understand the grammatical features of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
more
deeply
as well
as other cultural characteristics of the civilization which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is from.
For instance
, Japanese learners at basic level
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
polite phrases in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
daily situations, and can
easily
discover that politeness is a bold part of modern Japanese culture.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
does contribute to expanding our imagination in abstract ways, about not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the appearance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
inner characters of a certain object or person, since we are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by any specific pictures of it.

In conclusion
, I would argue that both watching TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
cognitive ability from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives, and we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
judgment about which one is
certainly
better that the other.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that reading for pleasure helps develop imagination and better language skills than watching TV. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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