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People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. To which extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. To which extent v. 2
It is widely believed that reading is a better way to foster imagination and cultivate language skills than watching TV programs. Personally, I strongly agree with that notion as reading is an active method of knowledge acquisition. First of all, the books are said to spur the imagination much more than TV programs because they allow readers to create their own world. While reading, they will use their creativity to manipulate the pictures in their mind through descriptive words. It is this practice that stimulates people’s brains and enhances their imaginative thinking skills. Watching television, on the other hand, barely encourages viewers to use their imagination. The reason is that images have been predefined and audiences are needless to imagine to visualize the characters. Secondly, language skills can be sharpened by reading rather than watching TV since learners can control their own pace. They can read at a slow speed to contemplate the language usage of writers, grammatical structures, for instance. In addition to the context in which words are used, readers can learn the spelling of them, which is beneficial to their writing skills. In contrast, except for improving listening skills, watching TV programs is likely to have no other linguistic benefits. Dialogues are spoken so fast that watchers can hardly have time to learn the meanings of new words as well as the grammatically correct way to use them. In conclusion, reading books is more advantageous to stimulate imagination and language development than watching television. My view is that people should spend more time reading because of the aforementioned merits.
It is
widely
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is a better way to foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and cultivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
than watching TV programs.
Personally
, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that notion as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
is an active method of knowledge acquisition.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the books
are said
to spur the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
much more than TV programs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
readers to create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their creativity to manipulate the pictures in their mind through descriptive words. It is this practice that stimulates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s brains and enhances their imaginative thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Watching television,
on the other hand
,
barely
encourages viewers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
. The reason is that images have
been predefined
and audiences are needless to
The verb 'imagine' is used with the gerund form: "imagine visualizing".
imagine to visualize
the characters.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
can
be sharpened
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
rather
than watching TV since learners can control their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace. They can read at a slow speed to contemplate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
usage of writers, grammatical structures,
for instance
.
In addition
to the context in which words are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
, readers can learn the spelling of them, which is beneficial to their writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
improving listening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, watching TV programs is likely to have no other linguistic benefits. Dialogues
are spoken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
that watchers can hardly have time to learn the meanings of new words
as well
as the
grammatically
correct way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
books is more advantageous to stimulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
imagination
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
development than watching television. My view is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should spend more time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the aforementioned merits.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. To which extent v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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