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People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. v. 1
In the modern society, more and more concerns were made about the cognitive development of children. Some people argue that reading for pleasure encourages people to boost imagination and language skills than watch TV. In my opinion, I totally agree with this claim. It is undeniable that reading enhances creativity through fairy tales, stories, science-fiction books, etc. Specifically, fairy tales allow people, especially the children to figure out different presence and appearance of the characters. Moreover, people are also given chances to express their perspectives about the imagination and creativeness through activities associated with reading such as judging the books, draw the ideal characters, etc. Another reason, which is no less important, is that building a good reading habit gradually equips people with a better recognition of words and letters; thus, helping to create longer and more complex speech among children. Inevitably, frequent accessibility to stories also provides children with necessary skills to read faster. On the other hand, the opponents claim that watching TV can overweigh the benefits of reading as it shows real figures and images on the screen. However, these advantaged features also act as a deterrent to children’s imagination because its role models personally created for the children. Besides, sounds from TV prevent people from being eager to read and learn new words. In conclusion, I believe that reading for pleasure is a better way to encourage creativity and language skills than watching TV. These stories facilitate people more special appearance of one specific character and better recognition of words and letters.
In the modern society, more and more concerns
were made
about the cognitive development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for pleasure encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to boost imagination and language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV. In my opinion, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this claim.

It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
enhances creativity through fairy tales, stories, science-fiction books, etc.
Specifically
, fairy tales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to figure out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
presence and appearance of the characters.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chances to express their
The usual preposition for "perspectives" is "on" not "about." Revise: "perspectives on".
perspectives about
the imagination and creativeness through activities associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
such as judging the books, draw the ideal characters, etc.

Another reason, which is no less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, is that building a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit
gradually
equips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a better recognition of words and letters;
thus
, helping to create longer and more complex speech among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Inevitably
, frequent accessibility to stories
also
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to read faster.

On the other hand
, the opponents claim that watching TV can
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweigh
the benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
real figures and images on the screen.
However
, these advantaged features
also
act as a deterrent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
imagination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its role models
personally
created for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Besides
, sounds from TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from being eager to read and learn new words.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
for pleasure is a better way to encourage creativity and language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than watching TV. These stories facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more special appearance of one specific character and better recognition of words and letters.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People say that reading for pleasure helps people to develop imagination and better language skills than watch TV. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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