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Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.16

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. v. 16
Higher institutions are places of learning where people come to acquire knowledge in different areas of life, so they can be productive and add to the growth of the society. However, there is the debate as to the number of places which should be given to candidates seeking admissions into different courses taught in these learning centres. The purpose of this essay is to address this issue and I disagree that there should be equal number of places for students irrespective of their gender. Not every subject can be handled by the opposite sex except for a few who are either strong minded or are just determined to succeed in such area of specialization. For example, a lady can't cope very much in mechanical engineering where lots of heavy equipment is involved. The use of metal tools and movement of large machinery may be a source of concern for her and this may scare her from such subject. The male gender is more capable of handling this as fear isn't a factor which can distract him. As a girl may not be able to cope with a course such as mechanical engineering, so it is for a man who may not be able to bear with a subject such as nursing. Nursing involves caring for people, especially those who are down and in need of special attention. The male gender isn't always good with this aspect when compared to the opposite sex who are very good at taking care of people, especially the elderly, disabled and those who are temporarily disposed. This is one reason there are more girls than boys studying nursing in the universities. In summary, the number of learners to be admitted into different courses should be based on the needs of the society. Learning centres should be helped by government agencies by giving statistics of the needs in specialities and this should be used as a basis to determine the quantity of genders needed to be taken in a subject.
Higher institutions are places of learning where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to acquire knowledge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas of life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can be productive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the growth of the society.
However
, there is the debate as to the number of places which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to candidates seeking admissions into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses taught in these learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. The purpose of this essay is to address this issue and I disagree that there should be equal number of places for students irrespective of their gender.

Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can
be handled
by the opposite sex
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are either
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
strong minded
or are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
determined to succeed in such area of specialization.
For example
, a lady can't cope
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much in mechanical engineering where lots of heavy equipment
is involved
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of metal tools and movement of large machinery may be a source of concern for her and this may scare her from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. The male gender is more capable of handling this as fear isn't a factor which can distract him.

As a girl may not be able to cope with a course such as mechanical engineering,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
may not be able to bear with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
such as nursing. Nursing involves caring for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are down and in need of special attention. The male gender isn't always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
with this aspect when compared to the opposite sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at taking care of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
the elderly, disabled and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
temporarily
disposed. This is one reason there are more girls than boys studying nursing in the universities.

In summary, the number of learners to
be admitted
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
courses should
be based
on the needs of the society. Learning
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
agencies by giving statistics of the needs in specialities and this should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a basis to determine the quantity of genders needed to
be taken
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should take responsibility for it. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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