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In recent years the family structure has changed as well as family roles Why are these changes happening Do you think these changes are positive and negative v.1

In recent years the family structure has changed as well as family roles Why are these changes happening Do you think these changes are positive and negative v. 1
It is considered by many people, that money is not the definition of joy. The measures of being happy differ from one individual to another, leaving happiness undefinable and crucial to explain. In my opinion, several aspects can play a vital role in a person's life to achieve happiness. Defining happiness is hard, because it means something different to each individual. In other words, while some people associate happiness with the idea of satisfaction, others links it to achieving academic or business goals. Take for example a recent research that studied two siblings, the first child felt happy playing with his classmates, while the other felt joyful by learning new things in the classroom. One way that people can feel happy is through their work. Another way to state it, is that working play a major role in an individual's daily routine, therefore working in an interesting field may be exciting and pleasant. For instance, a doctor that enjoys being around children may choose to be specialized in paediatrician. Finally, a happy environment will definitely lead to a happy state of mind. People surrounding themselves with the right type of individuals will ease the path of being joyful. To put it differently, supportive friends and family are not only safe to be around them, but also fulfilling and fun. As a result, the psychological hormones associated with happiness automatically rise, causing a person to be happy and relaxed. In conclusion, each human being has his reasons and aspects in his life to be happy, therefore it is impossible to have a universal definition for being happy. However, both engaging in fun activities and hang out with the suitable people can be the right steps in starting a happy life.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, that money is not the definition of joy. The measures of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
differ from one individual to another, leaving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
undefinable and crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
. In my opinion, several aspects can play a vital role in a person's life to achieve happiness.

Defining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it means something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to each individual.
In other words
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
associate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of satisfaction, others links it to achieving academic or business goals. Take
for example
a recent research that studied two siblings, the
first
child felt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
playing with his classmates, while the other felt joyful by learning new things in the classroom.

One way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
is through their work. Another way to state it, is that working play a major role in an individual's daily routine,
therefore
working in an interesting field may be exciting and pleasant.
For instance
, a doctor that enjoys being around children may choose to
be specialized
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
paediatrician
.

Finally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
environment will definitely lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
state of mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
surrounding themselves with the right type of individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the path of being joyful. To put it
differently
, supportive friends and family are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safe to be around them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
fulfilling and fun.
As a result
, the psychological hormones associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
automatically
rise, causing a person to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
and relaxed.

In conclusion
, each human being has his reasons and aspects in his life to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
,
therefore
it is impossible to have a universal definition for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
.
However
, both engaging in fun activities and hang out with the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be the right steps in starting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happy
life.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In recent years the family structure has changed as well as family roles Why are these changes happening Do you think these changes are positive and negative v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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