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Some people say that physical exercise should be done in gym or sport center Other people believe that exercise should done outdoors in open air. Which opinion do you agree with? v.2

Some people say that physical exercise should be done in gym or sport center Other people believe that exercise should done outdoors in open air. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 2
From given statement whether to choose indoors or outdoors for exercise is purely depends on one' s choice, but I personally think that indoors at gym or sport center is better option than any other. I would choose to go to indoor as it is more safe and surrounded by all kinds of facilities. We can avail all equipments and utilize them according to our need. But its not possible when we go outdoors, we have limited options. First of all in gym or sport center trainer is always there to train you and help you. Whenever you ask for help he or she will be there to serve you. They are the great helping hands to out daily workouts as they pay attention to our activities. Trainer gives advice and also diet plan for better result. Due to someone' s pressure we do exercise with more dedication. Secondly, If you meet with injury there is medical room available where you can take rest. In case of sevier injury there are the people who can take you to the doctor. But if you are outside away from home there are very few chances that you will get medical emergency sooner. similarly, if you pay money to gym or for sport you will do it with more regular and proper as you have invested penny there. Also you will utilize all equipment, which will end up in good physical results on your body. In case of outdoors, you will feel lazy, you will bunk the workout by giving silly reasons. At last, to sum up i will go with the first point provided by author. It will be more helpful to ourselves to go to sports center rather than going outdoors. If you want do start workout from bottom then gym or sport center is the best option to regulate your body and to set your routine. Also if you are new to start then it will be great help for learning workout pattern or sports as trainers are there to train you.
From
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement whether to choose indoors or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
for exercise is
purely
depends on
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that indoors at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
center is better option than any other. I would choose to go to indoor as it is more safe and surrounded by all kinds of facilities. We can avail all equipments and utilize them according to our need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its not possible when we go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
, we have limited options.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
center trainer is always there to train you and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you. Whenever you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
he or she will be there to serve you. They are the great helping hands to out daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workouts
as they pay attention to our activities. Trainer gives advice and
also
diet plan for better result. Due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
someone&
#039; s pressure we do exercise with more dedication.

Secondly
, If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with injury there is medical room available where you can take rest.

In case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
sevier
injury there are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who can take you to the doctor.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if you are outside away from home there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few chances that you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
medical emergency sooner.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
similarly
, if you pay money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
you will do it with more regular and proper as you have invested penny there.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
you will utilize all equipment, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical results on your body. In case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
, you will feel lazy, you will bunk the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
by giving silly reasons.

At last, to sum up
Did you mean "I"?
i
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the
first
point provided by author. It will be more helpful to ourselves to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
center
rather
than going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outdoors
. If you
Probably a preposition is missing after 'want'.
want do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
from bottom then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
center is the best option to regulate your body and to set your routine.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
if you are new to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
then it will be great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workout
pattern or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
as trainers are there to train you.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people say that physical exercise should be done in gym or sport center Other people believe that exercise should done outdoors in open air. Which opinion do you agree with? v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
342 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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