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Choose one of the following transportation vehicles systems and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, Bicycles, Airplanes v.2

Choose one of the following transportation vehicles systems and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, Bicycles, Airplanes v. 2
The invention of the airplane in 1903 was one of the most successful achievements of all time that changed the world. The advent and revolution of aviation industry has had tremendous impact on our universe. I strongly believe that this breakthrough and discovery has an inordinate amount of benefits in the air transportation system. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint are elaborated upon hereunder. The first point I’d like to explain is that aircraft is the fastest way to get anyway. In other words, an airplane will significantly reduce the time journey, allowing you to start your vacation as soon as possible, which it can last a couple of days with a car, bus or train. If you only have a limited number of days, and truly you want to spend quality time at your destination, then flying still is your best choice. My own experience is a compelling example of this. About two months ago I decided to take a trip to Disneyland. My flight was early in the morning, and it took me approximately two hours to be in target place. Having preferred to travel with an airplane, as distinct from using a vehicle, I was able to be in my destination in the shortest possible period. If I had elected to drive and spend days in my car, it would drastically have cut down the amount of time that I could enjoy there. Furthermore, after finishing my holiday I was in my hometown in a matter of a few hours, while facing a return trip by car could be painful. Secondly, flying is by far safer than traveling by car or taking a train. The old adage that flying is the secure way to trip still holds true today. On a daily basis, there are thousands of scheduled aircraft flights across the world, and yet we can go weeks or months without a fatal crash. Conversely, a road trip is not as protected and confident as an air trip. Put in other words, not only will the passengers arrive at their target place sooner, as soon as using a plane, but also it will keep their lives from possible hazardous accidents, which they can confront in a road trip. After returning from my vacation, I heard that there was a serious car crash on the way Disneyland to my homeland, which caused loss of human lives. Had I taken a road trip without considering these possibilities, now the worse incident might have taken place to me. In conclusion, having considered the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, there is no doubt that the aircraft has modified and improved people’s lives in some ways. Not only planes extremely lessen the travel duration and save time, but also it provides an out of danger and assured trip.
The invention of the airplane in 1903 was one of the most successful achievements of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the world. The advent and revolution of aviation industry has had tremendous impact on our universe. I
strongly
believe that this breakthrough and discovery has an inordinate amount of benefits in the air transportation system. The reasons to substantiate my viewpoint
are elaborated
upon hereunder.

The
first
point I’d like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
is that aircraft is the fastest way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anyway.
In other words
, an airplane will
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
journey, allowing you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
your vacation as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, which it can last a couple of days with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, bus or train. If you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have a limited number of days, and
truly
you want to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
at your destination, then flying
still
is your best choice. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a compelling example of this. About two months ago I decided to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
to Disneyland. My flight was early in the morning, and it took me approximately two hours to be in target place. Having preferred to travel with an airplane, as distinct from using a vehicle, I was able to be in my destination in the shortest possible period. If I had elected to drive and spend days in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, it would
drastically
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that I could enjoy there.
Furthermore
, after finishing my holiday I was in my hometown in a matter of a few hours, while facing a return
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
could be painful.

Secondly
, flying is by far safer than traveling by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or taking a train. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
adage that flying is the secure way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
still
holds true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. On a daily basis, there are thousands of scheduled aircraft flights across the world, and
yet
we can go weeks or months without a fatal crash.
Conversely
, a road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
is not as protected and confident as an air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. Put
in other words
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will the passengers arrive at their target place sooner, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as using a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
from possible hazardous accidents, which they can confront in a road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
. After returning from my vacation, I heard that there was a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
crash on the way Disneyland to my homeland, which caused loss of human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. Had I taken a road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
without considering these possibilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the worse incident might have taken place to me.

In conclusion
, having considered the aforementioned reasons and examples into account, there is no doubt that the aircraft has modified and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
extremely
lessen the travel duration and save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it provides an out of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
and assured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
.
20Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Choose one of the following transportation vehicles systems and explain why you think it has changed people’s lives. Automobiles, Bicycles, Airplanes v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
468 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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