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you forget your bag in the gym and gym management announced that the gym will be closed for a week for some renovation work You need your bag as it has important things in it Write a letter to the manager of the gym In your letter introduce yourself and d v.1

you forget your bag in the gym and gym management announced that the gym will be closed for a week for some renovation work You need your bag as it has important things in it Write a letter to the manager of the gym In your letter introduce yourself and d v. 1
In this expeditiously transforming world, the idea of the right age of marriage and having children has attracted a lot of voices. Some believe that after 30 is an appropriate age, while others are not in support with this. Considering it to be a negative shift, I would try to substantiate the same. To embark on the idea which considers it to be a positive, some savants propound that people today have become more career oriented, and hence as a country we have taken a more progressive path. To elucidate this further, let’s consider the education development. Millennials have started keeping the responsibility of a kid in the bay and as a result the number of people opting for higher studies has proliferated significantly. Accentuating the compelling side, some people reckon that human body, especially that of a woman, undergoes eminent biological changes after the age of 30, that might hamper a healthy pregnancy. Thus, there might be complications which would risk the lives of the mother as well as the child. Moreover, it has been observed that the number of miscarriages has been aggravated because of an unhealthy womb and a changes lifestyle. This issue not only harms during the pregnancy, but might as well create health problems for children after birth. To illustrate this further, it has been noticed that the number of children suffering from dyslexia has elevated by a tremendously high margin, resulting in a shaky future. To summarize, I would contemplate that career and education have taken a paramount position today, but health issues cannot be ignored. The delay might give an upsurge in the educational field, but would not provide a suitable country’s future, hence leading it to a pessimistic development.
In this
expeditiously
transforming world, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of the right age of marriage and having children has attracted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
voices.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that after 30 is an appropriate age, while others are not in support with this. Considering it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
shift, I would try to substantiate the same.

To embark on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
which considers it to be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
savants propound that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
have become more career oriented, and
hence
as a country we have taken a more progressive path. To elucidate this
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
’s consider the education development. Millennials have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
keeping the responsibility of a kid in the bay and
as a result
the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opting for higher studies has proliferated
significantly
.

Accentuating the compelling side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
reckon that human body,
especially
that of a woman, undergoes eminent biological
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
after the age of 30, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
hamper a healthy pregnancy.
Thus
, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be complications which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of the mother
as well
as the child.
Moreover
, it has
been observed
that the number of miscarriages has
been aggravated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an unhealthy womb and a
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "changes'" or "change's"?
changes
lifestyle. This issue not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harms during the pregnancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
as well
create health problems for children after birth. To illustrate this
further
, it has
been noticed
that the number of children suffering from dyslexia has elevated by a
tremendously
high margin, resulting in a shaky future.

To summarize
, I would contemplate that career and education have taken a paramount position
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
health issues cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The delay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
give an upsurge in the educational field,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would not provide a suitable country’s future,
hence
leading it to a pessimistic development.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay you forget your bag in the gym and gym management announced that the gym will be closed for a week for some renovation work You need your bag as it has important things in it Write a letter to the manager of the gym In your letter introduce yourself and d v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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