Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support y v.5

Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support y v. 5
School life is important part of every person’s life. On the basis all the activities should be learned in the school life. So, as per the education, some people believe that In school, students should focused on study whole day. But some people think that in school day, physical exercise also should be the parted of it. In my concern, I would like to go with physical exercise should be part of school day. There are some reason as follows. Preferably, as I have said, physical exercise should part of the school day. because, in my point of view, doing only study whole day may suffer lot of tension of the study to students. In the reaction, students might be get in depression. So, If physical exercise could be the part of some break where students relax there. Student can find some time for another work. If students got bored by only doing study, in physical active they could do some fun, which will make them happy. Secondly, only doing study, where students don not do the physical things, there they only do mental work. They may cause obesity because of this. So, for that physical exercise is must. Physical exercise not only keeps us physically healthy but it also keeps us mentally healthy. During physical work, stretching of the muscles of our body, it releases some energy by that body get relaxed. So, for that physical exercise is must. Thirdly, in physical exercise makes student fresh and ardent. So in the exercise yoga could be played nice part, or outdoor sport like hokey, baseball, basket ball, foot ball. In the suggestion dance also can be the part of it. In the end, to keep fit students, exercise is important for welfare of the student.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
life is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of every person’s life. On the basis all the activities should
be learned
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as per the education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "focus"
focused
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whole day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
also
should be
The phrase 'the parted of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the parted of
it. In my concern, I would like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reason as follows.

Preferably
, as I have said,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
day.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
, in my point of view, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whole day may suffer
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
tension of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In the reaction,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might be
Consider using a past participle here: "got", "gotten".
get
in depression.
“So , If” at the beginning of a sentence requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
So, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
could be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
break where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
relax there.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Student
can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time for another work. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
bored by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
active they could do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fun, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them happy.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Did you mean "do not"?
don not
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
things, there they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
do mental work. They may cause obesity
because of this
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us
physically
healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us mentally healthy. During
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
work, stretching of the muscles of our body, it releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
energy by that body
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
relaxed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
.

Thirdly
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
fresh and ardent.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
yoga could
be played
nice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
, or outdoor sport like hokey, baseball, basket ball, foot ball. In the suggestion dance
also
can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
part
of it.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for welfare of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support y v. 5

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts