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1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v.1

1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v. 1
A recent trend shows that people prefer to take their beloved family members with them on their overseas work tour. While there are certain privileges associated with this, some drawbacks are also there for the person and his or her family. In this essay, I will portray both the aspects of this latest tendency. To begin with, people can always feel a homely atmosphere with their adored persons with them even if they are far away from their homes. Since in abroad both the climate and food habits are different, individuals are always prone to get sick and no one will be available there to take care of them. Henceforth, if family members are present there, they can act as enormous support. Nevertheless, the family members also come by a chance to spend an international holiday. A survey conducted by a group of researchers from Cox and Kings in 2018 has revealed that 37% of the international family holiday plan started from their family members scheduled business trips to that country. Moreover, the children of the families obtain the maximum benefit as they witness the history, geography, architecture of that specific place about what they have been learning in their school books. On the other hand, as the number of family members increases, the cost of the travel goes up exponentially, which is usually borne by the person. Besides, they cannot devote themselves fully to the job since their mind is always occupied with the thoughts of their kith and kin which eventually disrupts the basic purpose of the journey. Furthermore, the family members also became unable to savour the trip since one of them is preoccupied with some work-related issues. To sum up, this trend has several unquestionable usefulness along with various downsides. Henceforward, one should consider all the aspects of their own as well as the family before mixing up a family trip with a business tour.
A recent trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to take their beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
with them on their overseas work tour. While there are certain privileges associated with this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks are
also
there for the person and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. In this essay, I will portray both the aspects of this latest tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can always feel a homely atmosphere with their adored persons with them even if they are far away from their homes. Since in abroad both the climate and food habits are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, individuals are always prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick and no one will be available there to take care of them. Henceforth, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
are present there, they can act as enormous support.
Nevertheless
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
by a chance to spend an international holiday. A survey conducted by a group of researchers from Cox and Kings in 2018 has revealed that 37% of the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
holiday plan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
scheduled business trips to that country.

Moreover
, the children of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
obtain the maximum benefit as they witness the history, geography, architecture of that specific place about what they have been learning in their school books.

On the other hand
, as the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
increases, the cost of the travel goes up
exponentially
, which is
usually
borne by the person.
Besides
, they cannot devote themselves
fully
to the job since their mind is always occupied with the thoughts of their kith and kin which
eventually
disrupts the basic purpose of the journey.
Furthermore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
also
became unable to
Possible spelling mistake found.
savour
the trip since one of them
is preoccupied
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
work-related issues.

To sum up, this trend has several unquestionable usefulness along with various downsides. Henceforward, one should consider all the aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
mixing up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
trip with a business tour.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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