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Should a city try to preserve old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v.2

Should a city try to preserve old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 2
Old, historic buildings are an integral part of modern urban areas today. However, this brings up a controversial question: is it worth to keep these old-fashioned structures or to supplant them by new, modern ones. Personally speaking, I strongly believe that it is necessary to preserve them since there are several advantages to these precious, historic remains. There are three points in support of my view point that are discussed in the following passage. Old buildings help people extend their knowledge. In fact, each historic building represents a specific period of history that shows the building materials and methods that were common in that specific era. Additionally, they all have characters which in turn reflects the character of their designers and the people who lived in them. Some of them are important in terms of architectural and aesthetical features. Therefore, all in all, they give us better understanding of the culture, lifestyle, and art of our ancestors. Furthermore, they would result in better economic conditions. Old buildings attract more tourists. As a result, this leads to more job opportunities, flourished local and international businesses in our cities. As evidence shows, almost all touristic cities are among cities which possess a large number historic construction with a prosperous financial status. For instance, Rome is the most popular touristic cities around the world that enjoys numerous old, historic palaces and monuments Finally, historic buildings contribute to more joy and excitement in cities. They are often desirable locations where annual ceremonies to be held in. They can also serve as places in which people usually gather for celebrating national achievements. For example, Sardar Amjad castle in Talesh is the place where Iranians frequently go to celebrate national Children’s day. There, all visitors are allowed to choose and wear their favorite costumes and take photos in funny gestures in old-fashioned scenes. Overall, taking into account all these factors, I definitely assert that old buildings improve the general knowledge of communities, economic conditions and societies’ happiness. Thus, they seem like valuable treasures and it is a crime to destroy them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are an integral part of modern urban areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
However
, this brings up a controversial question: is it worth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned structures or to supplant them by new, modern ones.
Personally
speaking, I
strongly
believe that it is necessary to preserve them since there are several advantages to these precious,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
remains. There are three points in support of my view point that
are discussed
in the following passage.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
extend their knowledge. In fact, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
represents a specific period of history that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
materials and methods that were common in that specific era.
Additionally
, they all have characters which in turn reflects the character of their designers and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in terms of architectural and
Possible spelling mistake found.
aesthetical
features.
Therefore
, all in all, they give us better understanding of the culture, lifestyle, and art of our ancestors.

Furthermore
, they would result in better economic conditions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
attract more tourists.
As a result
, this leads to more job opportunities, flourished local and international businesses in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. As evidence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, almost all touristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which possess a large number
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
construction with a prosperous financial status.
For instance
, Rome is the most popular touristic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the world that enjoys numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
palaces and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
monuments


Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
contribute to more joy and excitement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
desirable locations where annual ceremonies to
be held
in. They can
also
serve as places in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
gather for celebrating national achievements.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sardar
Possible spelling mistake found.
Amjad
castle in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Talesh is
the place where Iranians
frequently
go to celebrate national Children’s day. There, all visitors are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to choose and wear their favorite costumes and take photos in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
gestures in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned scenes.

Overall
, taking into account all these factors, I definitely assert that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the general knowledge of communities, economic conditions and societies’ happiness.
Thus
, they seem like valuable treasures and it is a crime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
them.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Should a city try to preserve old, historic buildings or destroy them and replace them with modern buildings? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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