Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v.2

1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v. 2
Physical exercise plays a key role in our lives. It provides a lot of advantages to people, even it is consider that if people exercise constantly, they might live for more years than those who don' t. I see a lot of benefits in that and I consider that the student' s curriculum should be allocated in ways that they can develop physical activities for different reasons. First, if students exercise, they might prevent diseases. As we should know, there are a lot of diseases such as diabetes and blood pressure that are related with the fact of ‘’no exercise’’, in other words those diseases are more common in people who have a life without physical activity. Years ago, it was thought that only elderly people might be affected by heart diseases, but now it is known a different history because a lot of young people suffer from this. Any way, doctors state that those health problems might be avoided and the best way to do it, it is with sport activities. This experience tough me that sports are very important for students. Second, even though, the main goal of the school system is to prepare students using different educational topics, exercise might help them to socialize with different children, as a result they will become friendlier. In order to be a good professional, people should not only need to have knowledge about different topics, rather he or she should have a combination of moral characteristics, as well. That is, that interacting with different friends by practicing sport activities, for sure, it will make them understand the conduct of others. Thus, the students will have a better sense of the world and how he or she should treat people. As we can see, to provide students with classes alone might be harmful because they won' t be social subjects. In addition, sport activities help students to be aside from other harmful activities that might disturb them. I might say that if students are encouraged to practice sports in the school, for sure they will follow practicing when they are out of the school. For instance, if they are busy playing any sports, they will keep away from bad influences of other ' ’damaging activities' ' such as drugs and alcohol. To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I support that schools should assign physical activities in the school’s curriculum because at the end the results will be greater for students.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
plays a key role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It provides a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, even it is
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
constantly
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
for more years than those who
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits in that and I consider that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
student&
#039; s curriculum should
be allocated
in ways that they can develop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
reasons.

First
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. As we should know, there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as diabetes and blood pressure that
are related
with the fact of ‘’no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise’’
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
are more common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have a life without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
. Years ago, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
it
is known
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
history
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from this. Any way, doctors state that those health problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be avoided
and the best way to do it, it is with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. This experience tough me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for students.

Second,
even though
, the main goal of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
system is to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
educational topics,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
children,
as a result
they will become friendlier. In order to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
professional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to have knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
topics,
rather
he or she should have a combination of moral characteristics,
as well
.
That is
, that interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
friends by practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, for sure, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the conduct of others.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will have a better sense of the world and how he or she should treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with classes alone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be harmful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t be social subjects.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to be aside from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
disturb them. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
say that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are encouraged
to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, for sure they will follow practicing when they are out of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For instance
, if they are busy playing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
' ’damaging
Possible spelling mistake found.
activities&
#039; ' such as drugs and alcohol.

To sum up, for the reasons stated above, I support that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should assign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the results will be greater for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
68Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Some people say that physical exercise should be a required part of every school day. Other people believe that students should spend the whole school day on academic studies. Which opinion do you agree with? Use specific reasons and details to support v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts