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Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. v. 3
All work and no play makes jack a dull boy, is a thought proven over and over again. We all tend to focus more on academic than physical education, but it is agreed that as people age, they realise that physical well being is as important as their career or mental health. Modern medicine has increased the life expectancy, but on the other hand, people have started facing health problems earlier in their life, which is partially due to lack of physical activities. Focus on physical education since schooling, can help a child understand the health benefits and bolster them to follow it on a regular basis. Concurrently, it would help them boost teamwork, improve hand eye coordination and compliment their overall personality. A recent study conducted by Columbia University, compared students participating in physical exercises to the ones who did not, results showed that the former had higher productivity and better grasping power as compared to the latter. Even though physical education classes can benefit a lot of students, there are many students who abhor physical education classes, for them it could be really ardent to keep up with it. Students with disabilities or lacking physical aptitude, could feel left out, instead of being encouraged and could be an object of mockery in such cases. For example, All have seen bullies in schools which make fun of the students for being too nerdy and physical education classes being the hub of such cases. In conclusion, physical education classes should be treated as important as academics, but there should be an option to opt out, when someone is not able to cope up with it. We should always remember, every child is different, with different abilities which we should embrace and nurture.
All work and no play
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
jack a dull boy, is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
proven over and over again. We all tend to focus more on academic than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
age, they
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as their career or mental health.

Modern medicine has increased the life expectancy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
facing health problems earlier in their life, which is
partially
due to lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities. Focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
since schooling, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a child understand the health benefits and bolster them to follow it on a regular basis.
Concurrently
, it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them boost teamwork,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
hand eye coordination and compliment their
overall
personality. A recent study conducted by Columbia University, compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises to the ones who did not, results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the former had higher productivity and better grasping power as compared to the latter.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
can benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who abhor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
, for them it could be
really
ardent to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
with disabilities or lacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
aptitude, could feel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out,
instead
of
being encouraged
and could be an object of mockery in such cases.
For example
, All have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
bullies in schools which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fun of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for being too nerdy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
being the hub of such cases.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
classes
should
be treated
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as academics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there should be an option to opt out, when someone is not able to cope up with it. We should always remember, every child is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities which we should embrace and nurture.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child’s education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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