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The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v.2

The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v. 2
Over the last two centuries, there has been many changes in the society in almost every aspect. It is undeniable fact that revolution of mankind made gigantic enhancement in the medical field and it is argued that this has been the most valuable change. In last two hundred years, the world has witnessed great advances in the industrial revolution. Automation, Artificial Intelligence, machineries and various technological improvements changed the life of people completely in every aspect, such as how they travel, work, play and live. In addition, this enhancement not only improved the living standard, but their life has become more fun, easier and more enjoyable. The technological advances like telephone and internet made the world global village. Moreover, Medical science has also been revolutionised. The major factors of medical field like surgery, vaccination, infection and bleeding used to face a huge challenge, but now those have overcome and millions of lives have been saved. Even though medical field is looking for some serious disease solution, hundreds of other diseases are cured with revolution in this field. For example death due to chicken pox, tuberculosis, diarrhea and polio are now history. Besides this, there are a wide variety of medicines are available in the market, they have become so advanced based on research on human body that can cure or heal almost every part of the human body. To sum up, although there have been many different advances in society, the fact that the medical revolution has saved so many people’s lives, makes it the most significant.
Over the last two centuries, there has been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the society in almost every aspect. It is undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
of mankind made gigantic enhancement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
and it
is argued
that this has been the most valuable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

In last two hundred years, the world has witnessed great advances in the industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
. Automation, Artificial Intelligence,
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
and various technological improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
completely in every aspect, such as how they travel, work, play and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
In addition
, this enhancement not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
the living standard,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their life has become more fun, easier and more enjoyable. The technological advances like telephone and internet made the world global village.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Medical
science has
also
been
Possible spelling mistake. 'revolutionised' is British English.
revolutionised
. The major factors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
like surgery, vaccination, infection and bleeding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to face a huge challenge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
those have overcome and millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have
been saved
.
Even though
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medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
is looking for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious disease solution, hundreds of other diseases
are cured
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
field
.
For example
death due to chicken pox, tuberculosis, diarrhea and polio are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
history.
Besides
this, there are a wide variety of medicines are available in the market, they have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
advanced based on research on human body that can cure or heal almost every part of the human body.

To sum up, although there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advances in society, the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revolution
has saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it the most significant.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The breakthroughs in medical science are by far the most significant advances in world society over the last two centuries. Discuss this statement and give your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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