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Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. v. 1
People have different views about the betterment of seeking advice from other individuals or from the Internet. While I agree that Internet provides us with a wide range of information in a fraction of time, I believe experts are the best option when it comes to matters of life and death. On the one hand, the Internet and e-books therein have been filled with real-life experiences which can be considered as a solution for some specific problems. This is because many share their knowledge about all aspects of life ranging from employing different methods of nurturing a child to repairing top-of-the-range appliances with fewer money. Since such information can be obtained by clicking on a button or tapping on a mobile screen, many people regard it as an efficient way of gaining other peoples’ experience. On the other hand, I believe some piece of knowledge must be acquired not from the Internet but from special experts. This is because not all information available online can be applied to all humans and a piece of advice may vary from person to person. For example, there are many STD’s (Sexually-transmitted diseases) with a common initial symptom. However, not all of them can be treated with antibiotics. Thus, it is clear that almost all medical advice on the Internet can be misleading not because it has no academic backgrounds but because it may misunderstand the user. In conclusion, I believe the Internet is the best choice to share and gain hands-on experiences. Nevertheless, it may cost someone’s life if the user misapply the information on his or her life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about the betterment of seeking advice from other individuals or from the Internet. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that Internet provides us with a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a fraction of time, I believe experts are the best option when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to matters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and death.

On the one hand, the Internet and e-books therein have
been filled
with real-life experiences which can
be considered
as a solution for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific problems. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible agreement error. The noun share seems to be countable; consider using: "many shares".
many share
their knowledge about all aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
ranging from employing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods of nurturing a child to repairing top-of-the-range appliances with
Did you mean "less money"?
fewer money
. Since such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
be obtained
by clicking on a button or tapping on a mobile screen,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard it as an efficient way of gaining other peoples’ experience.

On the other hand
, I believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
piece of knowledge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be acquired
not from the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
from special experts. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
available online can
be applied
to all humans and a piece of advice may vary from person to person.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
STD’s (
Sexually
-transmitted diseases) with a common initial symptom.
However
, not all of them can
be treated
with antibiotics.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that almost all medical advice on the Internet can be misleading not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it has no academic backgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may misunderstand the user.

In conclusion
, I believe the Internet is the best choice to share and gain hands-on experiences.
Nevertheless
, it may cost someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
if the user
misapply
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some think that it is better to get information or advice from other people, while others believe one can get any information or advice from the Internet or books. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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