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Some people think that increasing the number of police officers on the street is the only effective way to reduce crime. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that increasing the number of police officers on the street is the only effective way to reduce crime. v. 1
It is believed that the growth of police officers on every road is the most effective way resulting in the decrease of crime rates. While this may suit with many people, I believe that there are many other methods to reduce crime. On the one hand, a large number of police officers can stop or reduce some violent crime on the street. For instance, a police man with a gun can make offenders feel anxious, alert, and do not dare to commit their crimes. This is because they are afraid of being detected, and being able to be arrested and imprisoned. Moreover, if robberies or thieveries happen on the road, the police can solve promptly, and arrest criminals for judgment. In addition, more police officers can assist the local government to control the area and crime rates. However, government would have to spend much more money on employing more and more policemen. On the other hand, there are many other methods to solve this problem rather than increasing the number of police officers. Firstly, developing economy is a good solution to reduce the number of offenders. In some rural areas, many people are still poor, so they rob or thieve to survival through day. Thus, economic development creates many job opportunities, which help people can have stable jobs, earn for their living, and they do not need to rob or thieve. Secondly, the government should popularize for people about much legal knowledge to become good citizens and responsible workers. It can be seen that many people commit crimes due to their lower lever education about the law. Thirdly, the government should consider and improve suitably judicial system and punishment mechanism. In conclusion, the government should focus on developing economy, popularizing education, and improving judicial system, punishment mechanism rather than increasing the number of police officers to decrease crime.
It
is believed
that the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officers
on every road is the most effective way resulting in the decrease of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates. While this may suit with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime.

On the one hand, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officers
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
on the street.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
with a gun can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
offenders feel anxious, alert, and do not dare to commit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are afraid of
being detected
, and being able to
be arrested
and imprisoned.
Moreover
, if robberies or
Possible spelling mistake found.
thieveries
happen on the road, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
can solve
promptly
, and arrest criminals for judgment.
In addition
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officers
can assist the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to control the area and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend much more money on employing more and more policemen.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other methods to solve this problem
rather
than increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officers
.
Firstly
, developing economy is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of offenders. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rural areas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
still
poor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they rob or thieve to survival through day.
Thus
, economic development creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have stable jobs, earn for their living, and they do not need to rob or thieve.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should popularize for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about much legal knowledge to become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
citizens and responsible workers. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
due to their lower lever education about the law.
Thirdly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should consider and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
suitably
judicial system and punishment mechanism.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on developing economy, popularizing education, and improving judicial system, punishment mechanism
rather
than increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
police
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
officers
to decrease
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that increasing the number of police officers on the street is the only effective way to reduce crime. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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