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Many people claim that parents should place restrictions on the hours children spend watching TV and playing videogames and encourage them to spend more time reading books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. v. 4
Nowadays, most of the young people are addicted to the digital technological gadgets which have several harmful effects for their overall enhancements in the daily lives. Some people opinion that, parents should restrict that kind of activities and give to spend more time with books in their leisure time. I completely agree with this practice. In my opinion, I believe Parents should limit the spend more time in front of the digital screen and also they can mention reading books is one of the best physical option to spend their free time. In recent times, most of the parents doesn't have much more time to spend with their children. Because they have to face their parents workaholic culture in their daily world. And also they are not able to give some additional knowledge enhancement for their children’s' other than the school time. Not only is that but also, every persons’ childhood most important thing in their lives because most of the overall enhancements and developments occurs during their childhood. This combination helps to continue their personality without any other displeasure. If some child is addicted to digital technological devices in their child hood period, it will directly affect their physical and mental health issues in daily lives and they will end up lot of health issues in their young lives. Therefore parents should have to consider other option than watching TV and playing video games. In addition to these most of the parents can introduce numerous methods for spend the leisure time to their children. Reading books is one of the best option for that kind of situation. Actually this practice will directly improve the all the peoples’ knowledge and everything related to their daily activities. Such as, Strengthens the brain, Increases empathy, builds vocabulary, Prevents cognitive decline, and Reduces stress and etc. In fact, there is no negative effect in this method therefore every age types of people can try this practice without any regrets. Moreover, this is helps reduce the overall health issues without any medicines. Because this practice can make complete person without any artificial usages. For example, these days most of the people face large amount of mental health issues which is based on the technological activities. Mental Depression is one of most harmful disease in the society. When some people reduce the digital works, there is no risk for face the depression. And also people can use reading books for avoid the depression. Because these types of methods will help to the calm the mind. Therefore, encouragement of reading books option can reduce the side effects of the technological usages in daily lives. In conclusion, According to the developments of the society have some kind of affects than some kind of beneficial. Therefore people can use physical methods for spend their free time without any side effects.
Nowadays, most of the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to the digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
gadgets which have several harmful effects for their
overall
enhancements in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opinion that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should restrict that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of activities and give to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
. In my opinion, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the digital screen and
also
they can mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is one of the best physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free time.

In recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
doesn't have much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their children.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
workaholic culture in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
world. And
also
they are not able to give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
additional knowledge enhancement for their children’s' other than the school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, every persons’ childhood most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the
overall
enhancements and developments occurs during their childhood. This combination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to continue their personality without any other displeasure. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
child
is addicted
to digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
devices in their child hood period, it will
directly
affect their physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lives and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
in their young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
than watching TV and playing video games.

In addition
to these most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can introduce numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
the leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of situation. Actually this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
will
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples’
knowledge and everything related to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
activities. Such as, Strengthens the brain, Increases empathy, builds vocabulary,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Prevents
cognitive decline, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reduces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
Write the name of the item after 'and' or use only "etc".
and etc
. In fact, there is no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
therefore
every age types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can try this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
without any regrets.

Moreover
, this is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
without any medicines.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practice
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
complete person without any artificial usages.
For example
, these days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face large amount of mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
which
is based
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
activities. Mental Depression is one of most harmful disease in the society. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the digital works, there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for face the depression. And
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for avoid the depression.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
these types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the calm the mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, encouragement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the side effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technological
usages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In conclusion
, According to the developments of the society have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of affects than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kind
of beneficial.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without any side effects.
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IELTS essay Many people claim that parents should place restrictions on the hours children spend watching TV and playing videogames and encourage them to spend more time reading books.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
472 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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