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Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree? v.5

Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. v. 5
It has been a ubiquitous phenomenon that most children use their free time to play video games or watch TV in the current society. Some people advocate that parents should allow children to read more books and restrict them from using technology products. Which approach would be the most suitable for children? This essay will discuss my view in detail with supporting examples. On the one hand, there is a proclivity to believe that children who watch too much TV and play video games will have a detrimental effect. Mainly this is because these TV shows and video games are easy to get addicted to them. For instance, video games usually design a lot of levels that allow players to spend considerable time to solve them, and TV shows are highly entertaining, that makes children reluctant to leave. As a result, there would undoubtedly be a significant impact on children's physical and mental health when parents' do not set up restrictions on video games and TV time. In addition, one should consider that children can benefit from reading, such as increasing reading speed, learning more words, and developing an abundant imagination. In other words, the description of the story can help children to create different pictures and sounds in their minds, which can improve their creativity. Take my own story as an example: when I was a child, I like reading detective novels because the descriptions in the books were highly vivid. I would imagine myself how to crack the case if I was the detective in the book. Therefore, such influence would definitely have a valuable contribution to children's character training, which may even affect their future learning and career development. In conclusion, albeit limiting children's time on TV and video games may deprive them of their fun, it would be more beneficial in their life in the long run. In my view, if parents show as a role model to turn off the TV and read books with their children, they would naturally cultivate reading habits from an early age.
It has been a ubiquitous phenomenon that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their free time to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advocate that parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to read more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and restrict them from using technology products. Which approach would be the most suitable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
? This essay will discuss my view in detail with supporting examples.

On the one hand, there is a proclivity to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
too much TV and play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will have a detrimental effect.
Mainly
this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted to them.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
usually
design
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
levels that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
players to spend considerable time to solve them, and TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
are
highly
entertaining, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
reluctant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
.
As a result
, there would
undoubtedly
be a significant impact on children's physical and mental health when parents' do not set up restrictions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and TV time.

In addition
, one should consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
, such as increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
speed, learning more words, and developing an abundant imagination.
In other words
, the description of the story can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pictures and sounds in their minds, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their creativity. Take my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
story as an example: when I was a child, I like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
detective novels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the descriptions in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
were
highly
vivid. I would imagine myself how to crack the case if I was the detective in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
.
Therefore
, such influence would definitely have a valuable contribution to children's character training, which may even affect their future learning and career development.

In conclusion
, albeit limiting children's time on TV and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may deprive them of their fun, it would be more beneficial in their life in the long run. In my view, if parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
as a role model to turn off the TV and read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they would
naturally
cultivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habits from an early age.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should places restrictions on the hours their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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