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Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. v. 2
Reading is considered to be a good exercise to enhance one's vocabulary. In recent years, the number of kids who read for entertainment has decreased drastically. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and possible ways by which reading can be encouraged among children. The two major reasons are children are overburdened and technology has evolved. Firstly, I believe children do not get enough time to read something for fun. Most of their time is consumed in their school and school activities. For instance, homework, exam preparation, projects, assignments etc. Secondly, I think with the latest technology children prefer to listen to audio books rather than reading. This saves their time because while reading they took lots of breaks. They also think listening is quite interesting than reading. We can encourage children to read more by including a novel or a magazine of their choice in their course. This will not only help them release their stress, but also improve their reading skills. I think reading should be developed as a habit from a very small age, so that it becomes their routine to read. I also believe we should not encourage children to listen to audio books as they will lose their interest in reading. We can always motivate them to read online such as they can read books on Kindle. It is a good platform to read books online. To conclude, I would conclude by saying that unless we encourage students to read more, the number will reduce. In order to increase the number we should make reading a part of their curriculum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reading
is considered
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
exercise to enhance one's vocabulary. In recent years, the number of kids who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
for entertainment has decreased
drastically
. This essay will discuss the reasons for this and possible ways by which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can
be encouraged
among children.

The two major reasons are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are overburdened
and technology has evolved.
Firstly
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
something for fun. Most of their time
is consumed
in their school and school activities.
For instance
, homework, exam preparation, projects, assignments etc.
Secondly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
with the latest technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
prefer to listen to audio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. This saves their time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
they took lots of breaks. They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
listening is quite
Use "(interesting)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
interesting
than reading.

We can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
more by including a novel or a magazine of their choice in their course. This will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them release their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
should
be developed
as a habit from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
age,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it becomes their routine to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
. I
also
believe we should not encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to listen to audio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
as they will lose their interest in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
. We can always motivate them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
online such as they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on Kindle. It is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
platform to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
online.

To conclude
, I would conclude by saying that unless we encourage students to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
read
more, the number will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. In order to increase the number we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a part of their curriculum.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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