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Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 1
Every year crime rate is increasing gradually, people are recommended to give hanging punishment to all the criminals who are troubling to others with their moves. Many persons have had the faith that thousands of other ways are present to reduce the unfair activities. I strongly believe that, society should try for once to give the good lesson to the offender by giving some social works or physical retribution to make him realize, otherwise announce imprisonment for the whole life rather than death punishment. On the one side, people are expecting to make fair justice, and according to them, it is better to give punishment of “hang” for the crimes which are harmful, for instance, For the rape cases, murder and supplying banned items and of inhaled drugs. These all activities not only effect to the one person, but also impacting badly to the whole society physically as well as mentally. Nobody is having the right to play with the life of others, if anyone is doing the courage it should be controlled by hanging them. If one individual will be hanged, another will take steps back automatically, consequently the rate of crimes will go down and turn to zero one day. On the other side, numerous people strongly believe, nobody is criminal by birth; it is society and surrounded people, who motivate them sometimes to attempt wrong things for their own benefits. For example, drug dealers. They are washing the mind of young generation by giving them a threat or greed to relish the life in other way and become rich soon. To protect the teenager, it is always better to give them second chance by realizing them about their crime. Society should give them counselling, education or shift them to rehab centres to learn the importance of life, if the human will repeat his mistake only then it is the way to take hard steps by taking him in custody for the longest time or for the whole life to set a good example for others. In conclusion, death is not the solution to do fair justice; I reiterate that unwanted and offended activities should be handled according to the nature of the crime. Every problem could be sought with little effort and being a responsible character of the nation, it is our responsibility to educate the children in an effective way to control all the criminal moves.
Every year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate is increasing
gradually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are recommended
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
hanging punishment to all the criminals who are troubling to others with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
persons have had the faith that thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways are present to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unfair activities. I
strongly
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should try for once to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
lesson to the offender by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
social works or physical retribution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him realize,
otherwise
announce imprisonment for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
rather
than death punishment.

On the one side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are expecting to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
justice, and according to them, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
punishment of “hang” for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which are harmful,
for instance
, For the rape cases, murder and supplying banned items and of inhaled drugs. These all activities not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
to the one person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
impacting
badly
to the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
physically
as well
as mentally. Nobody is having the right to play with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of others, if anyone is doing the courage it should
be controlled
by hanging them. If one individual will
be hanged
, another will take steps back
automatically
,
consequently
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
will go down and turn to zero one day.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
strongly
believe, nobody is criminal by birth; it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and surrounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who motivate them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to attempt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits.
For example
, drug dealers. They are washing the mind of young generation by giving them a threat or greed to relish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
way and become rich
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. To protect the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
, it is always better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them second chance by realizing them about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them counselling, education or shift them to rehab
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to learn the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, if the human will repeat his mistake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
then it is the way to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
steps by taking him in custody for the longest time or for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for others.

In conclusion
, death is not the solution to do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
justice; I reiterate that unwanted and offended activities should
be handled
according to the nature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Every problem could
be sought
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
effort and being a responsible character of the nation, it is our responsibility to educate the children
Consider replacing "in an effective way" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective way
to control all the criminal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moves
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that advertisements are misleading for children, while advertiser claim that they provide knowledge. Give your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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