Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. v. 1
It is often argued that parents have an obligation to lessen children activities such as times of watching television and enjoying digital games, and instead of this they should stimulate infants to read book materials. I completely agree with the given motif and think that the habit of reading helps them to understand their life responsibilities. To begin, learning new thing by reading books always benefits children. Firstly, it will help to boost their reading skill and would also perform well in the academic curriculum. For example, School child will comprehend information effectively that make the thing is yours for him /her. In addition, having adequate knowledge of information leads them to recognise their interest. Let's take an example of a great scientist of India doctor A P J Abdul Kalam Azad who always had an interest to last knowledge from books, which enable him to identify his ability, eventually, he became the greatest researcher in missiles technology. Furthermore, when children come across various resources day able to realise their life obligations. In other words, if pupils read some motivation books they understood the importance of life and their lives. To exemplify, there is a book called Azad Hindustan which was written by one of the writers from India in which he has described his whole journey, so such a book is really beneficial for pupils. In conclusion, parents have the onus to direct their children in a better way and inculcate them about the importance of reading a book and aware them about the drawback of TV and video games. This would help them to become a better version of themselves.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that parents have an obligation to lessen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
activities such as times of watching television and enjoying digital games, and
instead
of this they should stimulate infants to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
materials. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
motif and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to understand their life responsibilities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, learning new thing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
always benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Firstly
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to boost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and would
also
perform well in the academic curriculum.
For example
, School child will comprehend information
effectively
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the thing is yours for him /her.
In addition
, having adequate knowledge of information leads them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
their interest.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's take an example of a great scientist of India doctor A P J Abdul
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kalam
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azad
who always had an interest to last knowledge from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, which enable him to identify his ability,
eventually
, he became the greatest researcher in missiles technology.

Furthermore
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across various
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "resources'" or "resource's"?
resources
day able to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
their life obligations.
In other words
, if pupils read
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
motivation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
they understood the importance of life and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To exemplify, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
called
Possible spelling mistake found.
Azad
Hindustan which
was written
by one of the writers from India in which he has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
his whole journey,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
is
really
beneficial for pupils.

In conclusion
, parents have the onus to direct their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a better way and inculcate them about the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
and aware them about the drawback of TV and video games. This would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become a better version of themselves.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should limit their hours of watching TV and playing computer games for children, but instead encourage to read books. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts