Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children. v.27

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them this distinction. with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children. v. 27
Teaching young people and preparing them for the real world is not only parents´ job, but also teachers have the responsibility to look after children's behaviour. Although every child has to understand what is correct or incorrect to live in a society, it is unnecessary to punish to achieve this goal. Therefore, I completely disagree with the use of punishment as a tool to teach. Moreover, I consider there are other strategies to transmit good values to young people. Primarily, fear of parents and professors is not a strategy that works in the long term. For instance, many boys or girls do their homework frightened of getting grounded. This feeling, is far from actually understanding that by doing homework the contents of a specific school subject are learned. Furthermore, they do not understand that by doing essays at home they will achieve the necessary knowledge to go to university afterwards. Therefore, penalties will not prepare students or kids for future decisions. On the contrary, punishing is only a way of enlarging the gap between adults and kids and making children scared all the time. Many specialist in the area of Psychology and Pedagogy of Buenos Aires University agree on some measures that help teaching kids the difference between right and wrong. Firstly, one strategy used oftenly is the time out. For example, when toddlers hit their younger siblings, they are sent apart for as many minutes as the age of the kid, that is to say, if the boy is 3 years old it will be left alone without toys for 3 minutes. Similarly, teachers can improve students misbehaviour by applying the same rule when they are small. Later in high school, extra homework it is said to be an excellent tool, not only to teach children the consequences of bad behaviours, but also to improve their learning skills. In conclusion, in spite many mothers, fathers and teachers believe punishing is the only way of transmitting the distinction of good and bad, in my opinion, children should interiorise and completely understand that our actions have consequences. Therefore, time out and extra homework will help to learn how the world works and why one should always behave properly.
Teaching young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and preparing them for the real world is not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
parents´ job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
teachers have the responsibility to look after children's
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. Although every child
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
understand what is correct or incorrect to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society, it is unnecessary to punish to achieve this goal.
Therefore
, I completely disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of punishment as a tool to teach.
Moreover
, I consider there are other strategies to transmit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
values to young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Primarily
, fear of parents and professors is not a strategy that works in the long term.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
boys or girls do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
frightened of getting grounded. This feeling, is far from actually understanding that by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
the contents of a specific school subject
are learned
.
Furthermore
, they do not understand that by doing essays at home they will achieve the necessary knowledge to go to university afterwards.
Therefore
, penalties will not prepare students or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
for future decisions.
On the contrary
, punishing is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
a way of enlarging the gap between adults and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
and making children scared all the time.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
specialist in the area of Psychology and Pedagogy of Buenos Aires University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
measures that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to teach" or "teach".
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Firstly
, one strategy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
Possible spelling mistake found.
oftenly
is the time out.
For example
, when toddlers hit their younger siblings, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
apart for as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
minutes as the age of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
,
that is
to say, if the boy is 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone without toys for 3 minutes.
Similarly
, teachers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
students
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
by applying the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
. Later in high school, extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
it
is said
to be an excellent tool, not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
to teach children the consequences of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, in spite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mothers, fathers and teachers believe punishing is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
way of transmitting the distinction of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, in my opinion, children should
Possible spelling mistake. 'interiorise' is British English.
interiorise
and completely understand that our actions have consequences.
Therefore
, time out and extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homework
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to learn how the world works and why one should always behave
properly
.
19Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them this distinction. with this option? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children. v. 27

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
367 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts