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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion v.2

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. 2
While there are many who support the idea of building confidence in children with team building tasks in their spare time, some opine that they should learn to engage themselves when they are alone. This is an ongoing debatable topic. I am of the opinion that a child who socialises better will learn faster than being on their own most of the time. Firstly, when a person is part of a group or a team, they get immense exposure and tend to be more active. They see their peers doing the same activity in different ways and adapt better by learning new things. For example, when a child is enrolled in a football team, they learn new techniques that are not known to them until they see their friends doing it. They would definitely engage and pick up skills from them. Children who stay away from the crowd, are seen to be less confident and moreover, they are bullied more. They definitely have the advantages of being self dependent, organized and may even turn out to be vivid readers. They probably are less influenced by others opinions, but it definitely comes with a cost. For example, it is noted that children who spend more time by themselves end up having more theoretical knowledge than practical. They are able to score well in their SAT's but have less confidence when doing presentations. In my point of view, socializing, being part of a circle or team and actively involving in group activities are much better ways to learn than spending most of the time reading or playing on the phone or the computer. This would prevent them from growing both mentally and physically.
While there are
many
who
support the
idea
of building confidence in children with
team
building tasks in their spare time,
some
opine that they should
learn
to engage themselves when they are alone. This is an ongoing debatable topic. I am of the opinion that a child
who
socialises
better will
learn
faster than being on their
own
most of the time.

Firstly
, when a person is part of a group or a
team
, they
get
immense exposure and tend to be more active. They
see
their peers doing the same activity in
different
ways and adapt better by learning new things.
For example
, when a child
is enrolled
in a football
team
, they
learn
new techniques that are not known to them until they
see
their friends doing it. They would definitely engage and pick up
skills
from them.

Children
who
stay away from the crowd, are
seen
to be less confident and
moreover
, they
are bullied
more. They definitely have the advantages of being self dependent, organized and may even turn out to be vivid readers. They
probably
are less influenced by others opinions,
but
it definitely
comes
with a cost.
For example
, it
is noted
that children
who
spend more time by themselves
end
up having more theoretical knowledge than practical. They are able to score well in their SAT's
but
have less confidence when doing presentations.

In my point of view,
socializing
, being part of a circle or
team
and
actively
involving in group activities are much better ways to
learn
than spending most of the time reading or playing on the phone or the computer. This would
prevent
them from growing both mentally and
physically
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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