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Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. 1
Many factors play an imperative role in human development. It is often thought by many people that parents perform the crucial role in bringing up their children. While, others believe that other factors such as Television and friends also have a great impact on a child. I am going to shed a light on both these notions followed by my opinion. Parents are considered the backbone of child’s nature and character because they have a direct interaction with their children. They teach their children how to be a good human being. They have a great influence on child's socializing process and also provide them sense of identification. Furthermore, they teach them about moral values and etiquette's to spend a pleasurable life. Moreover, parents know their children temperament better than anyone else. For instance, it is a fact that whenever we get sad due to any random reason then mother is the one who always knows what is happened to us. Friends, on the other hand, have a strong relation with children emotions and feelings because after their early years, they spend most of their time with their friends. When a child emotionally unstable owing to family problem or anything else then friends encourage them and give motivation to solve the problem. Additionally, the effect of TV is the combination of several characteristics such as how much they watch television, with whom they watch and which TV channel they watch because all of these have a significant impact on teenagers. For example, if both of the parents are too occupied in their work and do not have a time for their children then children automatically move towards other things to find love and attention. To conclude with, in my perspective, parents, friends and Television all of these have a considerable influence on child's development at a certain time of age. So, parents should keep their eyes on every activity of children.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
factors play an imperative role in human development. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
perform the crucial role in bringing up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. While, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors such as Television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
also
have a great impact on a child. I am going to shed a light on both these notions followed by my opinion.

Parents
are considered
the backbone of child’s nature and character
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a direct interaction with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
how to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
human being. They have a great influence on child's socializing process and
also
provide them sense of identification.
Furthermore
, they teach them about moral values and etiquette's to spend a pleasurable life.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
know their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
temperament better than anyone else.
For instance
, it is a fact that whenever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sad due to any random reason then mother is the one who always knows what
is happened
to us.

Friends, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, have a strong relation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
emotions and feelings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
after their early years, they spend most of their time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. When a child
emotionally
unstable owing to family problem or anything else then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
encourage them and give motivation to solve the problem.
Additionally
, the effect of TV is the combination of several characteristics such as how much they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
television, with whom they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
and which TV channel they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all of these have a significant impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.
For example
, if both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are too occupied in their work and do not have a time for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
automatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention.

To conclude
with, in my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and Television all of these have a considerable influence on child's development at a certain time of age.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their eyes on every activity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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