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some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. what is your opinion. v.2

some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. what is your opinion. v. 2
Day by day upgradation in technology is helping people to make the jobs of human beings simpler and faster, therefore, robots are the biggest example for the same. People believe that soon the robots will be overtaking the manpower of many factories and companies. In my opinion, with the passage of time, robots will be the only one working in many jobs. Man has made robots to make our life easier and soon it is seen they'll take over the humans at many physical jobs. Machines and technology are the best friends of humans, because of which they totally rely on them for every work. On every order of a person these artificially intelligent robots automatically obey them and complete their tasks. I would say that robots should be used at places where a lot of hard work and physical work is required. We should use them as the country's army force so that they can fight their enemies easily and the nation can save many precious lives of soldiers. Robots should be used in such places where they not only help us in daily scenarios but also save our lives. To conclude, not every job should be done by the robots, but many difficult jobs should be performed by them to make their lives better and not lazy. Soon the robots will handle all the difficult jobs and make the lifestyle of mankind simpler and easier. Hence, the humans will only be left to give orders and not performing the jobs.
Day by day
Possible spelling mistake found.
upgradation
in technology is helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings simpler and faster,
therefore
, robots are the biggest example for the same.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
the robots will be overtaking the manpower of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. In my opinion, with the passage of time, robots will be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one working in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobs.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
has made robots to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our life easier and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
they'll take over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Machines and technology are the best friends of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they
totally
rely on them for every work. On every order of a person these
artificially
intelligent robots
automatically
obey them and complete their tasks.

I would say that robots should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
at places where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work and physical work
is required
. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them as the country's army force
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can fight their enemies
easily
and the nation can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
precious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of soldiers. Robots should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in such places where they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us in daily scenarios
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
should
be done
by the robots,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should
be performed
by them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better and not lazy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Soon
the robots will handle all the difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the lifestyle of mankind simpler and easier.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to give orders and not performing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay some people believe that eventually all jobs will be done by artificially intelligent robots. what is your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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