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Some people say that now we see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1
Some people believe that technological advancement has eased the way of watching movies by bringing films to our phones and tablets, rather than the conventional method of having to visit theaters to watch cinema. While others believe that movies can be enjoyed to the fullest only when watch on a big screen. In my opinion, getting to watch movies on phones is great; but the extent to which a film can be enjoyed in phones, tablets, or in cinema halls differs from person to person depending on one's way of life. On one hand, it can be said that technology has improved to a vast extent and is easing life by making entertainment available at fingertips. In this case, its easy access to films irrespective of the time and place. The current day hectic work schedules and busy life gives less scope for people to make time for entertainment, and getting to watch movies online or download to a tablet solves this discomfort to a large extent. Another point to be mentioned is how it's helping the elderly citizens enjoy movies at home without having to venture around or depend on any family member. This also helps in increasing the bond within the family members when watch together. For example, I download and watch movies on my tablet when get time after returning home from work and also play it on the television for my grandparents on weekends and watch it along with them. This is how getting to watch movies on phones and tablets is helping the modern-day society. On the other hand, many feel that movies can be experienced better at cinemas. It is true to an extent as it keeps one involved in the movie the whole time without much interruption and disturbances. But, it is not always feasible and economical; especially in the case of people who are addicts to movies and have to watch movies regularly, but are not financially sound enough to spend a lot on entertainment. For instance, a domestic help would love to watch movies but her financial condition does not permit her to get involved in entertainment often. In such cases, she getting to watch movies on her phone by borrowing it from others is a more viable option. This is how circumstances affect the extent of joy and fun of watching movies. In conclusion, though some people believe watching movies is easier now in phones and tablets; while others enjoy movies more in theaters, it all depends on individual perspectives and situations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that technological advancement has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
eased
the way of watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
by bringing films to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets,
rather
than the conventional method of having to visit theaters to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
cinema. While others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
be enjoyed
to the fullest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen. In my opinion, getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is great;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
to which a film can
be enjoyed
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, tablets, or in cinema halls differs from person to person depending on one's way of life.

On one hand, it can
be said
that technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
to a vast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
and is easing life by making entertainment available at fingertips.
In this case
, its easy access to films irrespective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and place. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
day hectic work schedules and busy life gives less scope for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for entertainment, and getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
online or download to a tablet solves this discomfort to a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
. Another point to
be mentioned
is how it's helping the elderly citizens enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at home without having to venture around or depend on any family member. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in increasing the bond within the family members when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
together.
For example
, I download and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on my tablet when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after returning home from work and
also
play it on the television for my grandparents on weekends and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it along with them. This is how getting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets is helping the modern-day society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
Possible agreement error. The noun feel seems to be countable; consider using: "many feels".
many feel
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
be experienced
better at cinemas. It is true to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
one involved in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
without much interruption and disturbances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, it is not always feasible and economical;
especially
in the case of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are addicts to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
regularly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
are not
financially
sound
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to spend a lot on entertainment.
For instance
, a domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
her financial condition does not permit her to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
. In such cases,
Did you mean "she's getting", "she is getting", or "she was getting"?
she getting
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
by borrowing it from others is a more viable option. This is how circumstances affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extent
of joy and fun of watching movies.

In conclusion
, though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
is easier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and tablets; while others enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
more in theaters, it all depends on individual perspectives and situations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that now we see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
422 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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