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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1
Many people say that movies can now be seen on various smart devices without having to go to the cinema theatre; however, others still support going to the cinema in order to fully enjoy the movie. I strongly believe that nothing can beat the thrill of watching a movie in a cinema. On the one hand, countless people are finding themselves watching films on their smart phones and tablets as it is more convenient. Furthermore, watching a movie on a mobile device is a lot less expensive than going to the theatre. For instance, the availability of entertainment websites like Netflix and Amazon Prime enables movie lovers to see their favourite movies at any time and at any place. On the other hand, none of the aforementioned benefits of watching a movie on a phone or tablet can replace the joy of watching it in a cinema. This is because only when a movie is watched in a cinema, the audience can enjoy its visual and sound effects in its entirety. Furthermore, the lack of distractions in a theatre makes the movie experience much more joyful. For example, according to a survey 80% of movie lovers prefer watching a night show in the cinema to staying indoors and watching it on their television or laptop. For all of the above mentioned reasons, I strongly support the statement that seeing your favourite movie on the big screen in a cinema is more thrilling than watching it on tiny handheld screens. To conclude, watching a movie on a small device is certainly more convenient and cost effective; however, watching it on the big screen in a cinema is an altogether different and a whole lot more enjoyable experience. It is up to the movie lover to decide what suits them the best.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on various smart devices without having to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
;
however
, others
still
support going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
in order to
fully
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
. I
strongly
believe that nothing can beat the thrill of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in a cinema.

On the one hand, countless
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are finding themselves watching films on their smart phones and tablets as it is more convenient.
Furthermore
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on a mobile device is a lot less expensive than going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
For instance
, the availability of entertainment websites like Netflix and Amazon Prime enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
lovers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at any time and at any place.

On the other hand
, none of the aforementioned benefits of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on a phone or tablet can replace the joy of watching it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, the audience can enjoy its visual and sound effects in its entirety.
Furthermore
, the lack of distractions in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
experience much more joyful.
For example
, according to a survey 80% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
lovers prefer watching a night
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
to staying indoors and watching it on their television or laptop.

For
Consider using "all the".
all of the
above mentioned reasons, I
strongly
support the statement that seeing your
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is more thrilling than watching it on tiny handheld screens.

To conclude
, watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
device is
certainly
more convenient and cost effective;
however
, watching it on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is an altogether
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and a
Consider using "lot".
whole lot
more enjoyable experience. It is up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
lover to decide what suits them the best.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets and there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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