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In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v.7

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 7
It is considered by some that in spite of the need to build new houses, the countryside should be protected from any such constructions. In my opinion, homes are necessary and with a little bit of planning, we can construct them in the countryside without causing much damage to it. On the one hand, with the growing population, the demand for new residences is rising. The cities are becoming over-crowded and there is always a limit to exploiting the space in the city for construction. People in cities also need to have some free space that includes parks, gardens and orchards. Thus, it is not advisable to keep on building new homes in the city. Additionally, it will increase the pollution level in the city and affect the health of residents. Building homes in the uncultivated areas of the countryside is a solution to this problem. This area is lying unused and if it can be converted into residential space, it will ensure a fair distribution of population and will help in reducing the traffic congestion and pollution in the cities. Of course, there is some truth in the argument that countryside should be protected. However, in mu opinion, addressing the need for housing is an even bigger concern and it cannot be neglected. Hence, rather than imposing a carpet ban on all the construction activity in the rural area, the government and environmental activists should come up with a solution to build new homes without causing much damage to the serenity of villages. To conclude, in my opinion a diligent construction plan for new homes keeping in mind the preservation of environment in the countryside will be a win-win situation. It will not only cater to the increased demand for new houses but also preserve the beauty and purity of the countryside.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the need to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be protected
from any such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
constructions
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
are necessary and with a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of planning, we can construct them in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
without causing much damage to it.

On the one hand, with the growing population, the demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
residences is rising. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are becoming over-crowded and there is always a limit to exploiting the space in the city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
also
need to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
free space that includes parks, gardens and orchards.
Thus
, it is not advisable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the city.
Additionally
, it will increase the pollution level in the city and affect the health of residents.

Building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
in the uncultivated areas of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is a solution to this problem. This area is lying unused and if it can
be converted
into residential space, it will ensure a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
distribution of population and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing the traffic congestion and pollution in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
Of course
, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
truth in the argument that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should
be protected
.
However
, in mu opinion, addressing the need for housing is an even bigger concern and it cannot
be neglected
.
Hence
,
rather
than imposing a carpet ban on all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
activity in the rural area, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and environmental activists should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a solution to build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
without causing much damage to the serenity of villages.

To conclude
, in my opinion a diligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
construction
plan for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
keeping in mind the preservation of environment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will be a win-win situation. It will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cater to the increased demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
preserve the beauty and purity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there. What is your opinion about this? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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