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Some people say that now we can seen films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people say that now we can seen films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. 1
The two parameters of movie viewers are convenience and quality. Therefore, some people choose convenience over quality and prefer to watch movie on mobile or tablet at the time and place of their own comfort while, the others prefer quality and fully enjoy the content of movie by watching it on big screen. The matter is subjective and debatable as well. In my view, in most cases movies should be watched in multiplexes as there are lots of effort is gone in making of a film and as human beings, we should also appreciate the art in its best form. To appreciate and respect the art such as films in their best form, it is necessary to watch them in theatres. A good movie is a manifestation of hard work of director, actors, actresses and countless behind the scene crew. Further, they spend a lot of money, time and energy to create memorable and entertaining experience for audiences. For example, there are instances where producers had invested all their money and also actors getting injured while shooting of the films. On the other hand, owing to the busy schedule of some people, they watch films while travelling or late at night. There are some viewers as well who prefer to see the movie at home or at the place of their convenience rather than visiting the multiplex. For example, if someone is not getting time to watch the movie in day time and is only getting time after midnight, then the only way he can watch it is on mobile or tablet. Despite of the benefits, the thing which makes us human makes cons outweighs the pros. To conclude, people should watch the movies on big screen to give its due respect. One can also watch the movies on tablet and mobile but only if it necessary and should be avoided, if possible.
The two parameters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
viewers are convenience and quality.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose convenience over quality and prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on mobile or tablet at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and place of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
comfort while, the others prefer quality and
fully
enjoy the content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
by watching it on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen. The matter is subjective and debatable
as well
. In my view,
in most cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
in multiplexes as there are lots of effort
is gone
in making of a film and as human beings, we should
also
appreciate the art in its best form.

To appreciate and respect the art such as films in their best form, it is necessary to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
them in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is a manifestation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work of director, actors, actresses and countless behind the scene crew.
Further
, they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy to create memorable and entertaining experience for audiences.
For example
, there are instances where producers had invested all their money and
also
actors getting injured while shooting of the films.

On the other hand
, owing to the busy schedule of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
films while travelling or late at night. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
viewers
as well
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at home or at the place of their convenience
rather
than visiting the multiplex.
For example
, if someone is not getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
after midnight, then the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
it is on mobile or tablet.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
the benefits, the thing which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
cons outweighs the pros.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen to give its due respect. One can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on tablet and mobile
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
if
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
necessary and should
be avoided
, if possible.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can seen films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed films need to be seen in cinema. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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