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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience v. 1
Some people argue that owing to the technological advances; electronic gadgets have been replacing the big screen for watching movies while others insist that watching movies in a theatre, is an unparalleled experience and can never be substituted. I personally believe that despite the breathtaking view of the silver screen, people prefer mobile screen due to its being convenient as well as cost effective. On the one hand, the audio-visual effects in a film theatre, are particularly unique to them, which provide an incredible opportunity for the audience to enjoy movies. Therefore, supporters of big screens believe that enjoying films in three-dimensional theatres, is the main factor responsible for attracting the attention of spectators. In addition, in these 3D films, one feel like he is a part of that film crew, which makes it an enjoyable and fantastic thing. In America, in an interview conducted by Arts Council, for example, 90% of the people who visit the cinemas once in a month described that they couldnot relish watching films on mobile screen because of poor quality of audiovisual effects and they prefer watching on a big screen. On the other hand, enjoying movies on tables and mobile devices, is relatively inexpensive because all the newly released films are available on internet free of cost. Furthermore, one can watch films at any time of the day whenever he wants because there is no time constraint as compared to the cinemas. In my opinion, nowadays people have subscribed to movie channels and choose to stay at homes while watching on their electronic devices, to enjoy to the fullest extent. In England, for instance, 80% of the Britishers watch films in their spare time on their mobile screens, they further described that this mean is getting popularity due to being cost effective. In conclusion, although cinematic choreography is inciting the people to watch on big screens, yet electronics devices have been superseding it, over last few decades.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that owing to the technological advances; electronic gadgets have been replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
while others insist that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, is an unparalleled experience and can never
be substituted
. I
personally
believe that despite the breathtaking view of the silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
due to its being convenient
as well
as cost effective.

On the one hand, the audio-visual effects in a film
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, are
particularly
unique to them, which provide an incredible opportunity for the audience to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Therefore
, supporters of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
believe that enjoying films in three-dimensional
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, is the main factor responsible for attracting the attention of spectators.
In addition
, in these 3D films, one feel like he is a part of that film crew, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it an enjoyable and fantastic thing. In America, in an interview conducted by Arts Council,
for example
, 90% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who visit the cinemas once in a month
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
that they
Possible spelling mistake found.
couldnot
relish watching films on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of poor quality of audiovisual
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
effects and
they prefer watching on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
screen.

On the other hand
, enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on tables and mobile devices, is
relatively
inexpensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the
newly
released films are available on internet free of cost.
Furthermore
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films at any time of the day whenever he wants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no time constraint as compared to the cinemas. In my opinion, nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have subscribed to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
channels and choose to stay at homes while watching on their electronic devices, to enjoy to the fullest extent. In England,
for instance
, 80% of the Britishers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
films in their spare time on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
, they
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
described
that this mean is getting popularity due to
being cost
effective.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, although cinematic choreography is inciting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
,
yet
electronics devices have been superseding it, over last few decades.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Give your own opinion and examples based on your experience v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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