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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be been seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and gives your opinion. v.2

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be been seen in a cinema. v. 2
While a few proponents of the mobile technology opine that watching movies in smartphones is more pertinent than sitting physically in a movie theatre, others protested because only an ambiance of a cinema hall can show a film to enjoy. This will essay will discuss both the views. It is generally thought by most of the younger people that time, as well as money, can be saved by watching anything in our devices. In addition, an individual currently prefers phones first than a cinema hall because she/he can start seeing any entertainment videos at low cost in her/his home. Take Netflix or HBO Now for an example; these online streaming websites release new movies incessantly for those users, who don’t have to wait in queue to buy a movie ticket. In contrast, the environment of a theatre would not be comparable to anything if the movie is a blockbuster. Furthermore, supporting devices to see 3D or IMAX prints and any loud 3D sound along with the vibration in the couch make it inevitable to be engaged. As an illustration, millions of dollars are being generated by the sales of tickets till today in first day of releasing any movie solely in movie centers. Many people, thus, have now become enthusiastic than ever to stand in the line for hours to watch a single movie. Of crucial importance, in my opinion, is that as watching films in phones, cafes, pubs, and so many new places have been diluted in our lifestyles. Movie freaks, therefore, tend to avoid cinema halls nowadays in order to save hours and costs as well. To conclude with, in spite of the huge attraction on watching hits in a cinema, the realm of using smart technologies to watch movies not only will create more viewers but also will sustain more by existing virtually.
While a few proponents of the mobile technology opine that watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in smartphones is more pertinent than sitting
physically
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
, others protested
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an ambiance of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
hall can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a film to enjoy. This will essay will discuss both the views.

It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by most of the younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that time,
as well
as money, can
be saved
by watching anything in our devices.
In addition
, an individual
currently
prefers phones
Use "(first)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
first
than a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
hall
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she/he can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
seeing any entertainment videos at low cost in her/his home. Take Netflix or HBO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
for an example; these online streaming websites release new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
incessantly
for those users, who don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait in queue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
ticket.

In contrast
, the environment of a
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
would not be comparable to anything if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
is a blockbuster.
Furthermore
, supporting devices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
3D or IMAX prints and any loud 3D sound along with the vibration in the couch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it inevitable to
be engaged
. As an illustration, millions of dollars are
being generated
by the sales of tickets till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
in
first
day of releasing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
solely
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
centers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
thus
, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
become
Use "(enthusiastic)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
enthusiastic
than ever to stand in the line for hours to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
a single movie.

Of crucial importance, in my opinion, is that as watching films in phones,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, pubs, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new places have
been diluted
in our lifestyles.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Movie
freaks,
therefore
, tend to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
halls nowadays in order to save hours and costs
as well
.

To conclude
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the huge attraction on watching hits in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, the realm of using smart technologies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will create more viewers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
will sustain more by existing
virtually
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be been seen in a cinema. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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