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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1
Nowadays, movies can be seen on various platforms. People are divided in their opinion, while some hold the view that the use of portable electronic devices such as phones is better than going to the cinema, others believe that to have maximum satisfaction seeing a movie the cinema is better. In my opinion, the former is more enjoyable. Seeing a movie on the phone comes with great comfort and convenience. These reasons are what those in agreement with watching on phones and tablets run with. Potable gadgets can hold movies for a long period due to their storage capacity. This makes it readily available to the viewer at anytime of the day. Not only do they have autonomy to watch at a convenient time, they can also see movies at any location of their choice. For instance, I have been watching The Famous, a two hours American action film for three days without having to change my work schedule. However, those who believe that the cinema is the best place to enjoy movie do so because of the opportunity it afford people to socialize and also for its high quality image and audio. The cinema create room for individuals to meet, share views and network. They are able to get others perspective about the movie being seen. Another reason for them is the quality of image projected on the large screen accompanied with terrific audio, which allow them to feel involved. For example, last year at the Viva center, I saw a movie which made me nearly jumped out of my seat because it felt like the actor was going to shoot me. In conclusion, I believe using portable gadgets is a better way to enjoy movies because it is convenient and there is no need going to the cinema.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on various platforms.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divided
in their opinion, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hold the view that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of portable electronic devices such as phones is better than going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, others believe that to have maximum satisfaction seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is better. In my opinion, the former is more enjoyable.

Seeing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
on the phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with great comfort and convenience. These reasons are what those in agreement with watching on phones and tablets run with. Potable gadgets can hold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
for a long period due to their storage capacity. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it
readily
available to the viewer at anytime of the day. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do they have autonomy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
at a convenient time, they can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at any location of their choice.
For instance
, I have been watching The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Famous
, a two hours American action film for three days without having to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my work schedule.

However
, those who believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is the best place to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the opportunity it
Did you mean "affords"?
afford
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to socialize and
also
for its high quality image and audio. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
create room for individuals to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
, share views and network. They are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
others perspective about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. Another reason for them is the quality of image projected on the large screen
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanied by".
accompanied with
terrific audio, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to feel involved.
For example
, last year at the Viva center, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
which made me
nearly
jumped out of my seat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it felt like the actor was going to shoot me.

In conclusion
, I believe using portable gadgets is a better way to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is convenient and there is no need going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learn a new language and get a new soul.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones and tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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