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Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.8

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 8
Along with the introduction of technology into our daily life, many activities that people used to do in the past are being altered. While many old fashioned individuals prefer to watch movies at the cinema, others choose to play their favourite films using the latest gadgets. No one can deny that attending movies at the cinema gives you the privilege to watch the latest releases. That is to say, the newest movies are displayed first on cinema screens before being made available to the majority of people at the comfort of their home. In addition, people not only get the chance to watch new movies, but also spend their time socialising with each other while watching. Perhaps many busy adults actually organise gatherings in the name of watching a movie at the cinema. However, the vast majority of youngsters are indulged in the technological advancement that we are currently living with. Perhaps the main reason for this is the comfort and convenience that this advancement has to offer. Moreover, it is more convenient to watch movies on phones and tablets, because it could fit at any time during the busy schedule of most people. In addition, people can find a variety of movies to watch online instead of being restricted with fewer choices at the cinema. In conclusion, I believe that it is always better to choose the most suitable way that fits your lifestyle. Whether you prefer to go to the cinema to watch a movie or prefer to just watch any movie at the comfort of your home, the most important aspect is to enjoy it to the maximum.
Along with the introduction of technology into our daily life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
activities that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do in the past are
being altered
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
old fashioned
individuals prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, others choose to play their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
films using the latest gadgets.

No one can deny that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
gives you the privilege to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
the latest releases.
That is
to say, the newest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are displayed
first
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
screens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
being made
available to the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
at the comfort of their home.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
spend their time
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialising' is British English.
socialising
with each other while watching. Perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
busy adults actually
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
gatherings in the name of watching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at the cinema.

However
, the vast majority of youngsters
are indulged
in the technological advancement that we are
currently
living with. Perhaps the main reason for this is the comfort and convenience that this advancement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
offer.
Moreover
, it is more convenient to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on phones and tablets,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could fit at any time during the busy schedule of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can find a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
online
instead
of
being restricted
with fewer choices at the cinema.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is always better to choose the most suitable way that fits your lifestyle. Whether you prefer to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
or prefer to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
watch
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
at the comfort of your home, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is to enjoy it to the maximum.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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